#on and on but more importantly is the fact that my dad keeps trying to raise equivalents to racism

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 11: The One About the Heart of the Ocean

My father is a big history buff. He fancies himself a bit of an expert about the U.S. Civil War, U.S. Presidents, and World War II. In fact, he’s gifted me with the Useless Knowledge of which four U.S. Presidents were assassinated while in office (Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy – you’re welcome for that little addition to your own Library of Useless Knowledge).

But, more importantly, my dad has instilled in me the importance of a timeline. The idea that, if you’re collecting information, it’s vital to keep it in chronological order, that way you can look at it, (try to) understand it, and theorize about what happened before and after an event. If the facts are out of order, the conclusion you reach may be in error.

My father and I also like to solve True Crime together. When he visits, we spend hours on the porch studying some random, usually cold, true crime event. We timeline the shit out of it, connect the puzzle pieces together, and exclaim in the end, “We’ve solved it!” I suppose that is part of what keeps me interested in Lukola – not that there is anything criminal in Lukola, except perhaps the “Single White Female” that pops up behind Nicola from time to time – I just enjoy the game of trying to put the pieces together.

Lukola has become a rather intriguing puzzle, don’t you think? It’s definitely one to which I do not have all the pieces. I do, however, enjoy collecting the information and chronologizing it, and now I find it enjoyable to scribble my thoughts out on Tumblr.

So, how did I get here?

Well, it started with boredom and ended with a timeline.

My first entry to the timeline?

July 20, 2024.

What happened on that date?

Well, nothing spectacular really, except JVN posted –

HOLD UP!

HOLD THE FUCK UP!!

OH SHIT!!

YES!

YES, you guessed it! After blowing JVN off for at least three, maybe four, posts in a row, I’m finally getting around to dedicating an entire entry to Their Royal Highness.

JVN is such a fascinating creature. I mean, you get beautiful, witty, and intelligent wrapped into one human being. Oh, and they are kind of a catty bitch, too, and who doesn’t love one of those? That’s why they're the Heart of the Ocean on the USS Lukola; they just give off this very rare blue diamond vibe. Well, that, and because something they did marks the focal point – the heart – from which the rest of my timeline branches.

*I will cut in here to note that I am referring to JVN as they/their in this entry as their Instagram bio indicates they accept “they/he/she.”

Okay, back to July 20.

On that date, JVN posted to TikTok their version of the Charli xcx “Apple” dance. You know that annoying TikTok trend that took over our summer? Yeah, that’s the one – the same one Antonia tried doing – she just couldn’t pull off the JVN version of it. Dear girl couldn’t come close to matching JVN’s “enthusiasm,” and JVN’s version was only made more enjoyable in that they were seemingly mocking Antonia!

But, all’s fair in love and war, right?

JVN’s bestie, Nicola, had already spent the entire summer subtlety combating Antonia over social media. The vibe in the fandom was that Antonia was always trying to one-up Nicola, with Nicola always coming out the victor. I’m sorry, Antonia, you just can’t beat some perfectly timed BTS drops.

So, why did JVN’s TikTok post intrigue me? It wasn’t because it was that amusing. It was because they’d done something I hadn’t noticed before – they’d taunted Antonia on a public forum.

Curious, that.

Now, I’m not saying it was the first time JVN mocked Antonia, but July 20 was the first time I noticed it. That date is the heart of my timeline, but it does not have to be the heart of yours. We can all start at different times but still reach the same conclusions, so long as we keep the information in order.

You would think one wouldn’t mess with the “girl friend” of your best friend’s “best friend,” at least not publicly. But, here was JVN shamelessly mocking Antonia on TikTok. And, just so we’re clear, the public opinion of what JVN was doing with this TikTok is available to view in the comments of their TikTok post. It wasn’t just me that came to this conclusion – and JVN has left these comments up for four months at this point.

JVN’s “Apple” dance was only made more interesting the following day – July 21 – when they included it in their Sunday Dump post on Instagram.

And, Nicola liked it.

Hmm, things were becoming curiouser and curiouser.

Let’s not even pretend that Nicola isn’t street savvy and didn’t understand the context of that video. And, let’s definitely not underestimate the length of her claws.

To be honest, I hadn’t paid too much attention to Lukola since mid-June. It was an “it is what it is” thing for me. Even though I believed the relationship between Luke and Nicola was complicated (see my first blog for that story), Luke had also apparently disappeared into the summertime sun with his friend group, which included Antonia.

Something about JVN openly making fun of Antonia, and Nicola, at the very least acknowledging it with an Instagram like, made me realize something in Luke’s situation must be shifting.

What have I said about little changes? That deviations in modus operandi are what make people start giving the side-eye to a situation.

And, side-eye I did!

I started paying attention to JVN and, on July 25, they posted a series of photos on TikTok and Instagram showcasing “What I would wear if you invited me to your…” We will fast-forward through all the slides until we get to the last one, which read, “…just got dumped and going to take 8 shots dinner at Lupe’s in SoHo.” Was it possible that JVN was hinting at a dumpster fire at the Soho Farmhouse?

If you don’t know what the Soho Farmhouse is, it’s the place where Luke and his friend group, including Antonia, frequented, probably on Luke’s dime (*insert wicked laugh – oh, and a disclaimer that this is all speculation).

Funny that Nicola liked this post on Instagram, too, and it wasn’t even buried in a Sunday Dump.

At this point, JVN had really sparked my damn interest. Like, dear one, what are you hinting at?

On July 29, Deux Moi creeped out from under its rock and reminded the fandom to hate Luke by rehashing Papsmear. Thank you, we needed that. I mean, half of us almost forgot how much we hated him! That’s me being a sarcastic tart, by the way. If we were to fast-forward to today, I’d argue that Luke was the most darling thing to come out of Bridgerton.

Any ways, again, thank you, Deux Moi, for those suspiciously timed Papsmear pictures because they aligned perfectly with the pap pictures People dropped the following day – July 30.

Yep, I am talking about those strangely awkward pap pictures of Luke hanging out in the murky waters of Sorrento with Antonia. Oh, and let’s not forget the video footage of that encounter, which I am sure still upsets and confuses people to this day. In fact, I know it does because, as I was researching this, I had a couple of people get annoyed after I asked them to view it. Funny thing is, that shit never bothered me (I didn’t say that it didn’t later confuse me!). The first time I saw them, I was like, “Luke is not into that girl at all,” and my next thought was, “I wonder how old these pictures are because I would have sworn JVN was hinting at something.”

Now, this story wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t address the rumor portion of it.

First rumor? That Antonia set up the entire Italy pap photo-op because she seemingly knew where to find the cameraman. So, let’s discuss that video everyone seems to hate to acknowledge exists. In the video, you can see Antonia maybe looking in the direction of the cameraman. She then leans into Luke, either to whisper something to him or to reach for something behind him. In my opinion – and this is strictly my opinion – it looks like she’s pretending to reach for something over his shoulder. Still shots of this interaction are the photos People published, presumably because Luke and Antonia looked like they were cheek to cheek.

Okay, notice I said, “first rumor,” because, yeah, there’s a second rumor, too! But, it fits snuggly into that first rumor. Almost immediately – because that’s how fast the Lukola Sleuths get to work around here – rumors began to circulate that Antonia was following on Instagram the photographer that took the Italy pap pictures. In fact, several people I’ve spoken to swear that they witnessed during a TikTok Live a host prove that Antonia was following this photographer. That’s a bit suspicious, isn’t it? Yeah, it fucking is.

Let’s keep moving.

That same day, we had that video drop of Luke watching fireworks, at night, with sunglasses. Speaking of sunglasses, I guess Luke found those motherfuckers because he sure as shit didn’t have them while floating around in that dirty ass water. Any ways, at the end of the video, Rory appears behind Luke, looking in the direction of the camera and smiling like a condescending, sneaky little shit. Now, who was the cameraman? Well, a possible suspect would be Antonia since she was not seen in the video. Go figure.

Alright, so that day finally ended and on July 31, JVN posted to TikTok a cutesy video of themself at the market titled, “When you catch someone trying to sneak a pic but you were born for these moments.” They prance around the market and randomly look at the cameraman (Mark) with a smile and a pose. The caption reads, “I welcome sneaky pics but I can’t guarantee I won’t sneak some back or put on a show for you.”

WAIT A MINUTE!

Did JVN just inexplicably confirm Luke was getting papped by his own friends?

Yeah, I kind of think JVN did.

And, Nicola liked this one as well when JVN posted it to Instagram on August 8.

Didn’t I tell you JVN was a fascinating creature? And, to be honest, JVN only gets better as this Lukola ship continues on its voyage.

Oh, strangely enough, a few days after the Italy pap crap, Luke returned to London alone. The friend group became unsettlingly silent, and Nicola started to get really, really loud – Chaos Week was incoming! And, so were some more JVN crumbs (and nicely timed clap backs).

[lazycats-stuff]

Hi, this is my first time asking here I really love your work and also the whole reason me going into the DC fandom really... Anyway, back to my request can you do like a fluffy interaction with the batfamily when child (male or gn) reader told them that they had a "boyfriend" at school.

Not entirely sure if this is really you're cup of tea and if not you can ignore it.

:D

Oh this is my cup of tea, don't worry. And I got you into DC fandom? I hope you like the fandom so far.

Summary: (Y/N) is slowly growing up. Bruce and the others can't handle it.

Warnings: fluff, Bruce and everyone is emotional, just pure fluff everyone, Titus makes an appearance

The family has been going through a rather tough time recently. (Y/N) has started going to kindergarten and they couldn't see him for almost the entire day. Bruce knew it was important that (Y/N) starts socializing with children his age.

Bruce knew that is was important for (Y/N) to do it and he needs to get over all the child sicknesses. Such as chicken pox and some others. It would build his immunity system and make him stronger. And it was difficult the first day.

Everyone was emotional that first day. All of them barley kept it together as they walked (Y/N) to the kindergarten, more so to the place where he would be spending time until he needs to go to elementary school.

(Y/N) was nervous at first, but Bruce assured him how they would be back to get him back. The brothers all said goodbye and nearly broke down when (Y/N) left and everyone, including Alfred broke down in the car.

" He is growing up so quickly. " Jason said as he was wiping his eyes, trying not to cry fully.

" I know. " Dick said, not even keeping his cool anymore. Bruce and Damian didn't cry, but they were definitely sad about the fact that they couldn't see their brother anyone. Tim was just quiet as he sniffed quietly and Alfred simply looked ahead, outright refusing to cry.

Everyone went on with their days and once they were done with work or school, they would pick up (Y/N). (Y/N) was happy to his family once more and he just wanted a hug from his dad.

And he wanted to be carried by his dad. It was their tradition after all. Soon, Bruce had to update the list of people who could pick him up and included everyone in the family, besides Damian. The kindergarten policy made it clear that you needed to present ID every time you want to pick him up.

Bruce had to admit, he was impressed with the sheer security of the kindergarten and the way that they made sure that nobody unauthorized or somebody who had more sinister motives could get in. Thankfully.

(Y/N) has been going for a few months and he liked it very much. He has made a few friends and Bruce couldn't be happier. (Y/N)'s brother's were happy too. (Y/N) was happy, liked going there and had fun.

What more could they ask for? Nothing more.

As long as their brother is happy, so are they.

It was all going to be fine.

Well, that fine turned into pure confusion when (Y/N) was home. It was a Saturday. (Y/N) and the family was having a family night and (Y/N) was watching a movie in his father's lap, enjoying the contact from his father. Bruce covered his son in a blanket, making sure it was warm. It has started snowing a few hours ago and it was perfect.

More importantly, it was peaceful.

Until (Y/N) started to speak.

It was all fine.

" I forgot to tell you something! " (Y/N) declared as he sat up upright. Bruce glanced at (Y/N) and hummed at him, showing him that he had his attention.

" I have a boyfriend! "

Those four words made Bruce's head spin and he swears he hears that he has heard something crash in the kitchen. Jason spat out his water, coughing the rest of it out. Dick wept and Damian froze. Tim blinked a few times.

What the hell?!

" I'm sorry, what do you mean by that? " Bruce asked as he got some of his composure back. (Y/N) smiled widely and Bruce had to make sure he didn't fall down.

" I have a boyfriend! We hold hands and do everything together! " (Y/N) said loudly and Dick wept louder. Jason took a deep breath and Damian blinked a few times. Tim just drank his coffee. Nope. He is too pumped with caffeine to even think about it.

" What's wrong with Dick? " (Y/N) asked, looking at his brother who was weeping. Jason gave Dick a hug and Dick was mumbling the words so quickly and grow up. In not really particular order actually.

" Nothing (Y/N), you know how he gets emotional. " Bruce explained and (Y/N) let out a little huh. Bruce wanted to cry really, but he couldn't. His son was growing up too soon, but growing up is normal.

It's going to happen eventually.

Sooner rather than later.

" Come here. " Dick said as he wiped his eyes. He stood up and took (Y/N) into his arms, hugging him. His brother can't grow up. No. It's completely wrong and not- No.

(Y/N) can't grow up. No.

(Y/N) was confused as to why Dick would cry. Why? Is he sad? Why would be sad?

" Why are you said Dick? " (Y/N) asked and Dick finally found it in himself to chuckle. He gave (Y/N) a kiss on the cheek.

" I'm not sad baby bird. "

" Then why are you crying? When you are sad, you cry. " (Y/N) stated and Dick shook his head fondly.

" Sometimes, when you are so happy, you are so overwhelmed with happiness that you just start crying. " Dick explained and (Y/N) let out a little oh, leaning his head on Dick's shoulder.

Dick sighed as he sat down on the couch and Alfred finally made his way into the the living room.

" Master Bruce, did I hear correctly? Master (Y/N) has a boyfriend? " Alfred asked, clearly not wanting to believe it. His youngest grandson has a boyfriend?

" Yes, (Y/N) has a boyfriend. " Bruce confirmed and Alfred sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. His grandson will send him to his grave. Early grave, mind you.

Jason sighed as he wanted Dick to hand (Y/N) over to him. His brother can't have a boyfriend now. He is a baby in his eyes and he can't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter until he is about 30.

That is a reasonable age to have a boyfriend. Right?

" Should I open up the scotch? " Alfred asked and Bruce smiled at the suggestion.

" Later Alfred. "

" As you wish master Bruce. "

" Dad? " (Y/N) asked from Jason's arms and Bruce felt something warm in his heart.

" Yes? "

" Can we go out to play in the snow? Pretty please. " (Y/N) asked and Bruce nodded in agreement.

" Of course we can. But you need to make sure that you are warm. You can't get a cold can you? " Bruce said as he picked (Y/N) up from Jason and (Y/N) let out a little hurray.

" He is too pure for this world. " Damian said once (Y/N) and Bruce left the room to bundle up. and there was something that everyone could agree on. Even Jason and Damian could agree on that phrase.

Titus wagged his tail as he whined for Damian to open the door to the garden. Damian did so and Titus started playing in the snow. It was weird to see such a black mass in the white snow.

Titus almost looked like a demon and then that image was gone when (Y/N) ran over to Titus. Titus was very happy, tail wagging like mad, but still remained calm and gentle with his little brother. Bruce watched as (Y/N) ran around, making angels and throwing snowballs at Bruce.

Titus would also run for snowballs that the two would make, considering that they couldn't find his tennis balls to throw. He was confused at the way the would disappear, but still came back for more.

" Maybe we have overreacted. " Dick said and everyone agreed in a certain way. (Y/N) is a child and he probably doesn't know the meaning of the word. But they know that sooner or later they will have an actual boyfriend on their hands.

Hopefully that will never happen. Hopefully.

[respectthepetty]

So . . .

I'm fucked.

Pisaeng is now my baby boy, and I'm fully invested in his well-being. He took so many hits this episode, and I'm taking it personally.

Let's recap exactly how this episode hurt Piseang's and my feelings because I need to make sure I deliver the maximum damage to myself:

Kawi telling Piseang that he is intentionally creating distance between them because Pisaeng makes him feel uncomfortable and unsafe in front of the pink neon light and sign that reads "Extending our friendship, connection, and happiness to you all" was the cherry on top of this shitty pain sandwich.

Kawi chasing Pisaeng to the parking lot just to shove money into his face, so he won't owe Pisaeng anything.

DJ Squirtle! Pisaeng was so excited to give Kawi this, only to throw it at him from the car after such a horrible day.

Pisaeng turned down Pear's invite, but lit up when Kawi invited him out for drinks, only to be ambushed by a group that included Knot.

Pisaeng mentioned not being comfortable around him. Knot is misogynistic and Kawi KNOWS he is an asshole in the future, yet Knot keeps making comments about Pisaeng's sex life and the fact that they went to an all-boys school. Knot also mentioned believing Kawi was with Max (aka GAY), so is Knot homophobic and this is another reason Pisaeng does not want this dumpster in his life?

On the topic of Max, my other baby boy - Is this the reason for their dispute? Max could be gay and Kawi didn't like the implication that they might be in a relationship? Also, he was supposed to meet Max later. Did he? Or did he go out with Knot and the guys instead? He check-marked Max off his list, but this won't be as simple as he is making it if he continues to be friendly with Knot if his issues with Max really do stem from queerness.

Back to my other baby boy - Pear does like Pisaeng, but more importantly, IS MY BABY BOY DEPRESSED?! He is lonely. His old friends suck. His new friend said he makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't want to feel the pressure from Pear's dad. What is his relationship with his own parents? WHO IS THERE FOR MY BOY?!

He looked like he was going to cry in that classroom when Kawi told him he was annoying. He was trying to keep his shit together but was *this* close to having a breakdown when he was scrambling to gather his stuff so he could haul ass out of there. He didn't even turn in the quiz.

LOOK AT HIM!

I'm glad Kawi chased after him, but Pisaeng is really begging for someone to care about it, yet Kawi refuses.

He is quick to forgive and share his food with Kawi, so when Kawi told him that he is bothered by Pisaeng's behavior (thinking it's funny when Kawi is upset), Pisaeng clearly looked pained to know he unintentionally hurt Kawi. He wanted to fix it, but Kawi left immediately when Knot showed up.

Kawi turning down every offer Pisaeng extended to hang out upset him, and he even mentioned it later in the classroom. He tried to joke it off in the class, but he was hurt when it happened.

He went from being happy seeing Kawi and Pear together, to being somber since the realization of what he set in motion hit him.

Because he likes Kawi, a guy he can't have.

And he has liked him the entire time. TEN YEARS!

The worst part of all of this is Kawi isn't bad. He is trying to fix this, yet is delivering the most blows to my guy. He doesn't want Pear to be hurt in the future, so he must keep his distance from Pisaeng. He doesn't want to owe Pisaeng, so he pays him back. He doesn't want Pisaeng to be lonely, so he tries to mend his friendships. He wants his life to be better, which includes befriending Max again, saving his dad's life, and being with Pear, but he is missing what is right in front of him. He needs Pisaeng for his life to be better.

And then next week?!

Yeah, so like I wrote.

I'm fucked.

[kine11]

what do you think is your biggest green flag?

Fuck it, I self loathe enough that I'm taking this ask as a chance to hype myself up. I'm both completely immature and silly while also being incredibly mature and serious depending on which side of me is required. I'm good with money and live to my means while still being able to treat myself to 'luxury/unnecessary' purchases. I'm self sufficient and don't require anyone to do basic things around the home. I enjoy cooking and get dopamine from positive reactions to it but I'm not a food snob in the slightest - fine dining isn't my thing. I actively enjoy keeping a neat and tidy home and love nothing more than to do a deep clean on a Saturday morning to a sound track of my choice to then spend the rest of the weekend (and by weekend I mean 10 minutes when I'm also a dad) in a nice space that allows my mind the breathe. I consider myself emotionally intelligent even with AuDHD I'm always considering how my words and actions may impact others although I sometimes get it wrong unintentionally I'm open to communicate and learn. I'm a creative which comes with a keen eye for detail so I'm always finding and pointing out things that others might miss yet I still have a thirst for useless knowledge. I will always try to learn and remember at least one thing/fact about a new place I visit for example and will often come out with useless knowledge about things I didn't realise I knew, I get a kick out of impressing people with knowledge and teaching other even though I was completely average during education because my learning style wasn't catered for. I'm quick witted and often hear people say 'how did you think that up so quickly?' whenever I make an observation joke or reply to something someone has said. Most importantly - I'm a good parent. It's a cliche but I've never felt love or fear like it in my life until now and that just emphasises to me how much I truly care about this tiny human. On the whole I believe I'm a nice, respectful and helpful person who sometimes gets a little bit overstimulated, annoyed or upset at people I feel do not give back that energy... and thats okay.

[teddybearsandspaceships]

Again, way too detailed notes about a Cleo stream (15.3.2024) because it was great and I want to remember. (Please Cleo upload your VODs again please.) Featuring an Ancient City, Hermit scariness ratings, a new Emerald Daddy, and Life series reminiscing with the Clockers.

Plan for today: Ancient City raiding!, to get books

She´s definitely going alone because Ancient City raiding on her own is terrifying but you know what else is terrifying? The other people on the server.

The only person on the server Cleo is afraid of is False. Not Gem, Gem´s a kitten. False could take Cleo in a fight and kill her dead, but more importantly False can scare Cleo because she´s quite sinister. 5am Pearl is kinda cute. “can kill you, probably won´t,” if you entertain her. Cub isn´t scary either, the only thing to be scared of with Cub is the grind. Doc is 95% bark.

(In hindsight, finding a Swift Sneak II book so early is a tease knowing that it´ll be the only one.)

Chat is way more scared of the Ancient City than Cleo is. Worst that can happen, you summon a warden, you die, and your gear despawns, so what. Cleo thinks people are trying to freak her out and scare her into making mistakes.

This stream was right after or during Mumbo´s video on Hermits´ weird playing habits came out so there were plenty of questions about Cleo´s set-up. Cleo defends their choices, also they have a desk now.

Hypno drops by to show off his new armor and announce a raid. Cleo calls Cub her Emerald Daddy because he supplies her with emeralds.

Hypno drops off a shulker full of emerald blocks for Cleo, for free. Cleo then tells him he gets free books now. Hypno is astonished and delighted, and asks for a written voucher. Cleo writes him one and calls him Emerald Daddy too. Cleo: “Double Emerald Daddy, I´m good.”

Cleo won´t tell her fellow Hermits that they´re great to their faces because it would ruin her tough guy image.

Fun in chat: Etho sleeps. Bdubs: “sorry dad” Etho: “son I am at your place to give you a scolding” Bdubs: “be right up” – Cleo is sorry she saw that

Cleo discovers Joel´s glow ink shop and the glow squid Joel built from candles and is delighted. Joel is now her absolute favorite person. Armor stand buddies!

Taking advantage of the fact that all words are made up, Cleo makes a few more hoppadingdongs

Bdubs demands quiet because he and Etho are about to record one of their famous Bdubs-and-Etho clips. Cleo says they should get in a group. Etho: “Mum is so bossy, right Bdubs?” Bdubs: “She´s so bossy.” Cleo: […] *hits him* “Don´t talk to me that way.” Bdubs: “I´m sorry.” Cleo: “You will be.” Bdubs: “I´m sorry. That was a no-no, I´m sorry.” Etho: “Never talk back to your mummy.” Bdubs: “No, never.” Cleo: “Yeah, you two role-playing this thing again, it´s weird.” Etho, laughing: “You´re done with it, aren´t you, Cleo.” Cleo, also laughing: “I´m done with it. I was kind of done with it when it started, to be honest.” Bubs: “That shows your level of commitment.” Etho: “I feel like we move on from it and then Scar brings it up once in a while, and then Bdubs…” Cleo: “Me and Etho are kind of over it, so…” Bdubs: “Really? I saw Joel today and I thought, this is my uncle.” Etho: “Baby-sitter, right?” Cleo: “Cousin.”

Cleo offers to mute again but Bdubs asks her not to, having her there is great. Like audience chatter.

Bdubs shows Etho and Cleo his scaffolding challenge as his shop advertisement. Etho: “He´s so clever.” Cleo: “He is, he´s a genius. That´s our special boy.”

Bdubs starts his spiel: “You think you´re so cool…” Etho: “I thought I was…”

Bdubs wins the first game because Etho has trouble ringing the bell. And the second one. Cleo soon realizes that it´s easy to make Bdubs lose by sabotaging the scaffolding. Bdubs swears Etho and Cleo to secrecy about this easily exploitable weakness.

Cleo keeps talking about how wealthy they are. Very profitable shop, after all! (…true but I saw Cub´s stacks of diamond blocks the next day. Fear the grind.) Cleo bankrolled Etho already.

After a conversation about pricing Etho tells Cleo they have to teach Bdubs about peer pressure. Then remembers that “she doesn´t like it when we do that, we gotta stop.” Cleo says it´s fine. (Yay boundaries.)

Cleo asks Bdubs for a horse. Bdubs accuses Keralis of fraud (secretly swapping the horses people bought from him if they don´t buy the extended warranty.) Cleo asks if Keralis is gingering his horses. They talk about the meanings of the word, and why ginger is also used for red-heads. Etho: “Is it ´cause gingers are spicy?” Moment of silence. Cleo: “…sure?” Bdubs: “Yeah…” Etho: “I think we nailed it.”

Some talk abut spelling variations. “You can just say you don´t know how to spell, Etho, it´s fine.” And then talk about British dialects, how they drop the “t” in the middle of words (or phrases). Etho and Bdubs try to imitate it, badly. They don´t seem to understand what “in the middle of a word” means.

Shopping district talk, and some reminiscing about Shade-E-E´s. Cleo steered clear because she didn´t know Etho very well back then. Etho has a different glass prank in mind for this season. Etho and Bdubs also remember an end rod exchange thing they did, they neither remember what started it or how it ended. 

Cleo: “I feel like you´re not spiteful enough, Etho.” He lets too much go. Bdubs protests that Etho lets it go with him, because they have a history – Etho: that´s right – but to anybody else Etho is very spiteful. Cleo: He´s never been particularly spiteful to me, “and I deserve it.” Bdubs, dismissive: nah. Etho: “Well, to be fair, Cleo *builds up a dirt wall like he did between them in Third Life* I am kinda scared of you.” Both crack up. “You´re not necessarily who I wanna be poking.”

Cleo clarifies that the reason why False is the only one who scares her is because False is very quick on the insults. Cleo can be fast, but False can be faster. Bdubs: “Now I´m scared.”

Etho tells Bdubs the story of why he´s scared of Cleo: “I always viewed Cleo as, like, sweet, innocent, you know, quiet…” Cleo cracking up. It was because Cleo stole Pizza, for no reason. “She was laughing the whole time, like a crazy psycho.” Cleo: “It´s a llama.”  “I just thought it was interesting, I had a complete shift of what I thought of you at that moment.” Bdubs: “Yeah, she can do anything.” Bdubs was also shocked at that moment. They hadn´t talked about it, Bdubs just supported her in her plan to cause trouble. Stealing Pizza was more of a crime of opportunity because Scar didn´t want to talk to her and left Pizza there. “Bold move.” “It´s just Scar.” Etho reminds everyone that the Life series was fresh at that point, they know now that this sort of thing happens but they didn´t then. Cleo didn´t know most of the people in the series very well so she went full-on chaos gremlin. She blames Bdubs.

Etho repeats that that´s when his perspective on Cleo shifted. “And it never shifted back. Like, the more stuff she did, it just got further in that way.” Cleo can understand that: she got worse, as time went on, chaos-gremlin-wise. Etho: now we´re in season ten of Hermitcraft, she´s stealing villagers… Cleo points out that it wasn´t her idea, but admits that she fully embraced it. Etho isn´t sure he would have, Bdubs says he wouldn´t have. Cleo: “What´s Doc going to do to me.” Bdubs: “Uh, have you seen the sand dial?” Cleo: “Have you seen what´s inside it?” Bdubs, clearly grinning: “Oh, yes, yes.”

Scar is online and Bdubs invited him over to find out if he was actually upset about Cleo stealing Pizza. Scar arrives on his horse, but stays away a few blocks. Etho walks up to him: “You may approach, Scar.” Scar ender-pearls up to them. Bdubs asks how mad he was at Cleo over Pizza, Scar claims he was looking up tickets to the UK to seek his revenge. “Pizza meant more than I can express.” Does a whole sad monologue. Cleo and Etho think it was funny, Scar demands they take it back. Worse, and what also really threw Etho, when Scar asked Cleo to her face if she stole Pizza she denied it.

Cleo: “Yeah, but I´ve had my punishment now, ´cause now I´m your mother forever.” Scar just realized: “The family! What a wonderful moment.” Etho: “Out shopping together.”

Scar has to wait for Skizz to enforce rules in the shopping district, but Skizz is off on the high seas. Scar: “What if the boat went down.” “What the hell, Scar!” “That´d be awful!” Scar imagines it as, you float for a while, maybe see a shark, then get rescued in a helicopter. Cleo: you might see someone else die, while you survive ´cause you´re the main character. Scar asks after a Titanic character and is surprised Etho immediately knows her name because Etho is usually bad with movie references.

Cleo: “I would never do anything to you guys, you´re my family.” Bdubs: That´s sweet.” Scar: “That was sinister.” Etho: “Trolls us.” Cleo: “Correct.”

Scar got a tip to keep a horse from wandering off inside a circle of berries from an e-mail. Only the best things come from e-mails.

Bdubs tries to prove scaffolding superiority to Scar. Etho and Cleo support the pitch. Scar is disappointed by mom and dad. Etho and Scar agree to give it a try sometimes. Bdubs says Tango puts redstone on scaffolding sometimes, Etho is horrified. Etho shows them that you can use scaffolding to clutch a fall. Scar tries it because it would also work on leaves – unfortunately Etho forgot to tell him that you need to crouch and he dies. He´s not going to be happy, but ultimately it was clearly his own fault. It´ll take him a while to come back, Bdubs feels like he should go get him but Etho and Cleo need to leave.

[a-sad-mage]

Been a hot minute since I rambled about MaxSteel(2013) and-

What the fuck is wrong with Forge Ferrus-

Excuse my language

But seriously, I know it's been a point of discussion before, like a lot, but why the hell is Forge so hell bent on Steel being evil for the majority of the series????

Like Steel resting wouldn't actually make him evil.

Forge, you half-wit ;

STEEL WAS A FULTY ULTRALINK

Steel, as far as I'm concerned, was an anomaly, the 1 in 1000 product that is not like the others who were all programmed to be loyal to Makano, Steel wasn't. He questioned what they were doing, even if it was Jim that prompted it. Because here's the thing if the seed of doubt wasn't already there, Steel wouldn't have done what he did.

If Steel reset, he wouldn't default to 'glory for Makano' because that isn't a part of his programming.

On top of that

WHY KEEP THE FACT MAX IS HALF ALIEN A SECRET?!

even if Forge wasn't so hostile to Steel, and told them some things, I think at some point, Max and Steel would have questioned why Max had TURBO powers.

Because you can't expect someone to believe 'oh yeah, you were exposed to highly volatile energy when you were younger and now you're body generates the stuff' explanation forever.

Like wtf how dose being exposed to energy just cause ones body to start making it? Because that would imply human experimentation at some point.

And the whole 'we made Jim a promise not to tell you...' thing is also bullshit.

Yes they were trying tk keep there world to someone who subsidy died but I'm pretty sure they would be okay with you breaking that promise if keeping it is doing more harm than good.

WHICH IT WAS

YOU DON'T KEEP A SECRET THAT WILL ACTIVELY HARM SOMEONE OR CAUSE THEM TO SEEK ANSWERS IN A WAY THAT MAY HARM THEM!

you see it 'Uncle Sam Wants You!' Max and Steel go behind Forge's, and subsequently N-Teks back and joins the military for what they think is a raid on Dredds base. Max and Steel trust Colonel because he shows them some respect, and a level of trust Forge hasn't in a while.

And I also think Max’s lack of father figure plays a part in his actions that episode.

Yes I think we all more or less agree on some level that Forge was the closest thing Max had to a dad.

But when your father figure is acting fishy, not trusting you, and seemingly disappointed, and then another older man shows up and gives you a compliment and a pat on the back. Safe to say you're going to latch on the guy being nice than the one being a bit of a diçƙ.

Had Forge been just a wee bit more honest, I don't think Steel, but more importantly, Max would have felt the need to join up with another group.

Tldr: If Forge just communicated like a proper human, then Max probably wouldn't be so traumatized and not get basically groomed that one EP['Uncle Sam Wants You!']

[sem24]

The answer to my poll

Re mispellings: for people who thought I did this on purpose to trick you, you are giving me way too much credit. It wasn’t a trick question I just didn’t check the spellings.

For the people who keep telling me. I’m a pedantic nerd I get the urge to correct spelling, it doesn’t really matter. I did not expect this to blow up I thought like two people would see it. My mistake, I’m aware.

(Some spoilers)

Read till the end for a surprise!

1. Max Rebo-Real-it’s a crying shame people don’t recognize renound jizz wailer Max Rebo, people these days have no culture. RIP Max you would’ve loved Chapelle Roan.

Sy Snootles-Real-The myth, the legend, the icon.

Hondo Ohnaka-Real-Basically Star Wars does Captain Jack Sparrow, one of my favorite characters. (Piping hot take, he’s basically better Han Solo, I am prepared to be dragged through the comments for this opinion.)

Cham Syndulla-Real-people kept saying that they recognized the last name, but not the first of one of the characters. It’s either this one or another character below. He is a rebel Twi’lek who fought in the Clone Wars and later lead the Free Ryloth movement to liberate his home world (Ryloth) from the Empire. He is pretty isolationist and doesn’t like to work with the larger rebellion, which is why he clashes with his daughter Hera who is a rebel pilot, general and leader of Specter Cell.

Biggs Darklighter-Real-A lot of people thought he was a parody of Luke Skywalker, which is hilarious, but he is real, he was Luke’s best friend from Tatooine. And was in some cut New Hope Scenes. He joined the Imperial Academy, then defected to the rebellion. Where he as killed at the battle of Yavin. Most importantly he has a glorious mustache.

We’ll come back to Tula Bonobo who many of you correctly pointed out was the fake.

Owen Lars-Real-Has the distinct honor of having the most boring name in Star Wars; He is Luke’s Uncle who raises him when dear old dad goes a little murdery. Sadly dies by way of being related to a fantasy protagonist on their heroes journey. A fate for 9/10 fictional uncles.

Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios-Real-Ah a Tumblr favorite, Zeb is one of the last surviving Lasat after the Empire massacred his planet. He is a member of Spector Cell. He of course (and this is 100% canon cause I said so) flies off into the sunset with his husband Kallus at the end of the Rebels T.V. Show.

Elan Sleezbagano-Real- yes, he’s actually real. He tries to sell drugs to Obi-Wan Kenobi, that is all.

Qui-Gon Jinn-Real-Obi-Wan’s hippie Jedi master a real go with the force kinda guy. Get’s shish kebabed in Phantom Menace by Darth Maul. Kinda responsible for ruining the galaxy because he found little orphan death machine-Anakin Skywalker. Played by Liam Nissan (fun fact he is so tall they had to spend thousands of dollars raising the sets to accommodate him.) Is also missing his true calling as a hair model.

Zevulon Veers-Real-The only character I spell checked the name on, his father, Maximillion Veers, was an Imperial officer during the battle of Hoth. (The other character people may have recognized the last name, but not the first.) He defected to the rebellion. (Family reunions must have been awkward)

Mace Windu-Real-Got killed by being thrown out a window (cause Star Wars.) One of the most powerful Jedi and the leader of the Jedi Order. Played by Samuel L. Jackson, and has a purple lightsaber, (Bad guys always have red, good guys, blue or green.) But are you going to say no to Sam Jackson? Legend has it that he has “Motherfucker” inscribed on his saber hilt in Aurebesh (the Star Wars language.)

Now we get to as many guessed the fake name Tula Bonobo, a Bonobo is just a real animal that exists. I wasn’t trying to hide this fact. I shuffled through a few first names before landing on Tula. I think it sounds vaguely Star Warsy. And c’mon between Tula and Sleezebagano, which sounds more like the fake?

And now my confession: A wise squid-man once said “it’s a trap” and this indeed was a dirty trick…

Gather around children while I tell you a story. So last year I took an anthropology class, did I have any interest in that subject, no, but I needed the credits. It was difficult, but I liked the professor. And admist the boring reports on pre-historic fossils, I hit gold. I feel it’s high time the internet was re-introduced to this documentary of Liam Niesan narrating about ape sex. The meme potential is limitless. Have fun and use responsibly internet. You’re welcome.

[honkytonk-hangman]

Hold The Line

Platonic Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OC/Reader

Summary: Jake presses his lips together as he lets out a sigh. He leans forward on the railing again, eyes once more following the little boy who was quite happily playing by himself in the sand. “I just thought that Baby Goose deserved to grow up knowing his dad.”

Warnings: mentions of burning in, jake thought process centric lol

Notes: this is a companion piece to my fic Meet You All The Way, focusing on Jake's friendship with reader and most importantly his duties as Uncle Jake. its not overly necessary to read that first, this does kinda function on its own, but probably read that first hehe

Masterlist

Jake is hit with intense dread the moment Rooster steps foot in the Hard Deck that night. Maybe that's why he reactively starts doing his best to get under the other man’s skin as much as he can, as fast as he can. Jake jabs and pokes and thoroughly pisses Bradshaw off to the best of his not insignificant abilities, but even when he succeeds, it doesn’t do much to stop the pervasive unease that gnaws at him.

Not that he really believed it would. It doesn’t even make him feel any better either, in fact it makes him feel much, much worse.

Things hadn’t always been this way. They had been, for a long time, but the past couple of years or so Jake’s relationship with Bradley Bradshaw had softened, somewhat helped along by his friendship with a certain Dr Lamb, who just so happened to be Bradshaw’s wife, as well as the mother of their kid, a kid that Jake loved just as much as, if not more than, any of his actual family. Stuff like that tends to bring folks together, no matter how resistant.

But Jake hadn’t expected to see Rooster back in San Diego along with the others, the enormity and riskiness of the mission seemingly apparent only to Jake, even if he lied through his teeth when his colleagues mentioned similar concerns, if only to try and tell himself this one was just like the others. In the back of his mind though, Jake knows the Navy doesn't make a habit of building special mission squadrons of their top 1%. It was too risky, if something went wrong, all your top aviators could burn in, leaving you with the other 99% that weren’t chosen for a reason. 

Which is precisely how Jake knows this mission is bad news. Sure, it had to be done, but from a pilot’s standpoint, any time the plan allowed for error, for casualties, it was a bad plan. If every member of the special squadron needed to be the best to ensure the mission was completed, despite the fact that some of them were not expected to make it home, then that told Jake everything he needed to know.

Honestly, Jake didn’t think much about burning in. He knows that kind of hubris usually ends poorly, but the fact is, he was good at his job, one of the best, and everything he ever bragged about was something he could back up. It's partly why many people disliked him. The only thing more annoying than unjustified confidence was completely justified confidence.

The other part was that more often than not he was playing the jerk just to get a rise. The fact is; Jake had flown many missions he’ll never be able to talk about, missions that had been dangerous, missions he’d been lucky to just make it out of, let alone live to continue flying. None of them had him worrying the inside of his lip so badly he’d only realise he was doing it when his whole lip was swollen and sore, and he'd taken to fiddling once more with toothpicks just to stop himself from causing even more damage.

By the time they’ve been introduced to the mission instructor, Captain Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell, and they’ve gotten an idea of exactly what they would be training for, Jake is at his worst, toothpick not exactly helping people soften to him, his constant barbs more pointed than he would generally be okay dishing out. Even Javy was keeping his distance, sitting in the row of chairs behind his closest colleague and longest friend, instead of in one of the two available spaces beside him.

Jake knows why too.

For once, it’s not about him, though with the way he’d been carrying on you wouldn’t know it.

Jake would never wish to lose any of his squadmates, let alone any of Dagger, most of them people who had come to know and who had put up with him, eventually even accept him. That was a feat worth protecting in and of itself as far as he’s concerned. But Jake had never found himself so fixated on the safety of one squadmate, nor with their grasp and awareness of the realities of their mission, and for the first time in his career feeling, Jake feels properly powerless to do anything but watch Rooster continue to sit on his perch, where he would almost certainly become target practise for a SAM.

The only thing Jake is able to do is push, and needle and either convince Rooster to get his shit together, or be harsh and direct enough in his criticism that even Maverick won’t be able to deny it.

Either way, the outcome is the same: an innocent kid doesn’t lose his father.

He knows that the likelihood of remaining close to Rosie or Goose in the aftermath of his behaviour is extremely low, and if he was acting out of anything except repressed fear, he might’ve chosen to go about this whole nonsense in a far more measured and reasonable manner. But Jake had never been a fan of measured responses, his need for control too much for him to do anything but the most. As the weeks go on and the mission begins to hang dark on the horizon, Jake decides that he could live with never seeing the Bradshaw’s again after all this. As far as Jake is concerned, if it meant that two people who meant more to him than members of his actual family wouldn’t end up burying their husband and father, then what other choice did he have?

Things start to shift and change slightly when he overhears Phoenix asking Rooster about his history with Maverick, and Jake realises exactly who they are to one another, or at least who they used to be to one another.

Something along the lines of Maverick more or less having been Rooster’s adoptive father up until he’d applied for the USNA, after which Rooster had cut Maverick from his life completely. Jake realises then that Maverick, Rooster’s apparent father figure throughout most of his life, had no idea about Rosie, which meant that he had no idea about Goose.

Jake considers breaking out the big guns, exploiting this clear vulnerability, hitting two birds with one stone as not only would Rooster be rightfully furious about his family being brought up and used against him, but he’d also have his little secret revealed, and have to deal with that fallout. It was cruel, and Jake isn’t ashamed to admit he considers it for several days, sitting on the idea, mulling it over, picking his exact angle, choosing the one that would hurt the most and cause the biggest emotional fissure, something even their superiors wouldn’t be able to let go as simple pre-mission tension, something that would end up with Rooster dismissed from this posting, and sent back home. Hell, Jake could even be dismissed for his part in it, but again, he’s not so worried about his own glory this time around.

He’s sitting in the ready room, still contemplating the nuclear option when his phone buzzes. He hadn’t scared Javy off yet today, so his friend glances over at the noise just as Jake unlocks his phone.

His heart drops at the message from you, joined by several photos, which is how he knows he can’t go through with his plan. Never had he received a text from you, especially one with updates on his favourite nephew, and wished he hadn’t. Javy snorts and makes an ‘aww’ sound, not bothering to hide the fact he’s spying on his friend’s screen.

“Man, that kid is going to be so disappointed when he grows up and realises that Uncle Jake is lame,” Javy jokes, pointing at the picture currently on screen, of little Goose in his prospective halloween costume, a flight suit you’ve clearly made for him, complete with sets of patches. In one picture the little replica insignias are identical to Roosters, in the other, they’re a copy of Jake’s own. Your message tells him that Goose was going to wear one out trick-or-treating and the other to a Halloween dress up party at the kids club he attended when you were working late at the hospital.

Jake knows Javy doesn't mean anything by it, he knows how severe his friend can be when he really wanted to needle, but his words hit him with the realisation that if he were to go through with this plan, to expose the existence of Rooster’s family and cause this possibly career stunting blow out, Goose would grow up and find out that his “Uncle Jake”, who he apparently put in the same tier as his own, admittedly pretty great, father, absolutely did not deserve any of his admiration or reverence.

Jake swallows thickly and shuts off his phone without replying. He’d probably call you later, anyhow. Javy frowns at him, but shrugs lightly and watches as Jake pushes up off the couch, moving towards the far wall, needing to just think for a minute. For the first time in weeks he feels enough of his deep-seated dread leave his system, at last letting him think somewhat normally, combined with a clarity that really doesn’t make him feel any better about his recent conduct, definitely making him feel worse about what he’d been planning to do.

He stares blankly at the photos on the wall in front of him and scans each image as he tallies up alternatives, some way to get through to Rooster, make him understand that the way he was flying now would only end badly, it could only end badly, as everyone else seemed to grasp, and struggle with. His eyes flicker over a few grainy faces and move on, before quickly flashing back, blinking in surprise at what he realises he’s looking at.

The surprise pulls him out of his thoughts, away from his tallying and doomsday planning, almost making him forget completely as he stares down at a familiar face that stares back.

“Yo, Coyote, take a look at this!” Jake hears himself call over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving the spot in front of him. Javy approaches casually, leaning down to get a look at the framed photo Jake is transfixed with, easily picking out their instructor, though thirty years younger.

“The man. The legend. There he is.” Javy says lightly, though there is genuine respect lacing his tone. Jake glances over at him and shakes his head.

“No, no, no. Next to him.” Jake says, waiting as Coyote moves slightly closer, his own frown deepening as he gets a good look. “Does he look familiar to you?” he prompts after a moment, before he hears Javy let out a surprised little huff.

“What have we here…” he asks rhetorically, lifting a finger to trace the list of names beneath, until he finds the one that matches.

A new plan begins forming in Jake’s head then, and he straightens up, mind whirling. Javy snorts again and looks back at Jake over his shoulder.

“You realise your little buddy was named after him?” He asks, gesturing to the immortalised image of Rooster’s father. Jake hums. 

He’d known Nick was named for Bradshaw’s father, and he knew that the man had died in an aviation accident when Bradley had been little, but he had never realised where ‘Goose’ as a nickname had come from. He’d just thought it was a play on his Bradshaw’s callsign and Rosie’s surname, Lamb. He hadn’t realised the significance behind it before, and it makes him feel worse..

All the information he’d picked up over the last few weeks suddenly begins to make sense, like he’d finally found the one clue on his mental conspiracy board that suddenly connects all the dots, revealing the bigger picture at last. Whether or not it was the correct image was another thing entirely, it wasn’t even important to Jake’s new plan. It didn’t matter if he was right, in fact it would be better if he was completely off base, in the end, the only thing that really mattered to this new method was that Jake’s underlying point was made clear. Jake knows that if Rooster was able to just get the hell off that damn perch of his, then he’d fly this mission better than maybe anyone else, and give Maverick a run for his money at the same time.

And if that didn’t work, then hopefully Maverick would realise that sending Rooster may as well be signing his death warrant.

Jake takes a long sip of his beer and lets out what might be the first truly relaxed breath he’s had in weeks. Leaning forward against the railing that circled the Hard Deck, Jake keeps his gaze fixed firmly on the five-year-old playing in the sand a few metres away.

“Don’t go too far now, alright buddy?” He calls, knowing that Goose wouldn’t stray on purpose, but also knowing that the boy had a habit of getting so wrapped up in his sweet little head that he’d lose all sense of surroundings.

“Okay, Uncle Jake!” Goose replies cheerfully, dropping to begin digging through the top layer of sand in search of seashells.

For several moments Jake simply basks in the ocean breeze, briefly glancing away from the toddler to scan the horizon, but quickly turns back to him again, far more interested in watching the way Goose sorts the shells he’d found into separate groups. In fact, Jake watches on so attentively that he becomes the one who loses track of what’s going on around him, jumping when you manage to sneak up beside him at the railing, clearly looking pleased with yourself at having caught him off guard.

“Y'all moved in now?” Jake asks, ignoring his brief lapse in chill and choosing instead to glance over at you, clinking your beer with his when you offer it out.

“Yup,” you say, popping the ‘p’ in a way Jake would absolutely find infuriating if anyone but you were to do it. “Mav came around with Penny and Amelia yesterday, and we got it knocked out in a couple of hours.” You tell him, before your face turns more mischievous.

“Why, you weren’t planning on coming around under the guise of helping, just so you could mess with my husband, did you?” you ask teasingly, and Jake rolls his eyes.

“I don’t need to come around to do that. I have his number.” Jake says petulantly, though it reminds him that he hadn’t yet found a good time to actually settle things for good with Rooster. Jake may have saved his life, but he’s enough of a grown up to recognise that an actual apology might be necessary given the nature of the situation.

You laugh at that, and Jake feels an easy smile pull at his lips.

The two of you proceed to lapse into a comfortable silence then, both of you just watching as Goose flutters back and forth, occasionally moving back to the deck to place particular shells for safekeeping. You seem to wait for your son to be fully focused on his self-appointed task again before you speak.

“Rooster told me about your reprimand.” You say lightly, voice devoid of any emotion. Jake purses his lips and squints at the water ahead of him.

“Tattle-tale,” he mutters, before taking a large sip of his beer. You turn your body to face him then and cross your arms over your chest.

“You know, he told me that he wasn’t even really upset you brought up his dad…” you continue, and Jake turns his squint on you, finding your words a little hard to believe. “He told me he barely heard what you actually said, he was so convinced you were about to out him about Goose and I in front of Maverick… he said that was why he reacted the way he did.” Once again your voice is light on any clues as to what you might be thinking, and it makes Jake throw back the remainder of his beer before he speaks again.

“I thought about it. Figured with all things considered, Mav would never choose him if he knew about Goose. Probably would have worked, too.” He admits slowly, choosing his words carefully.

“And remind me again why that was plan a?” You ask dryly and with a healthy amount of ridicule directed towards him. 

Jake shrugs.

“I think you’re seriously overestimating the thought process that went into this, which for the record, was not a single one.” he replies truthfully, shaking his head.  “Could have gotten my ass DD’ed for pulling that shit.” Jake grumbles, both at his previous behaviour, and at how differently things would have gone if Maverick was the type of Commanding Officer who concerned himself at all with little things like direct insubordination.

You hum your agreement then, seemingly satisfied that he was aware of how stupid he’d been. Jake sighs heavily then, and runs a hand through his hair.

“My thoughts on Rooster’s capabilities as a pilot versus the way he actually flies aren’t exactly top secret.” Jake states, readying himself to explain to you what exactly had been so important to him that he’d wound up with an official reprimand over. “The way he was flying the sims wasn’t going to cut it, and frankly, he seemed more preoccupied with proving something to Maverick—” he cuts himself off at that, shaking his head again, and you don’t push him to finish.

Jake presses his lips together as he lets out a sigh, and leans forward on the railing again, eyes once more following the little boy who was quite happily playing by himself in the sand.

“I just thought that Goose deserved to grow up knowing his dad,” Jake confesses at last, feeling slight nerves bubbling in his belly at the frankness of his thoughts, but he can’t help himself from eventually glancing over at you in order to gauge your reaction as you consider what he’s said.

Your expression remains thoughtful, but otherwise unreadable, and for several more seconds the two of you stare at one another, until at last you shift your eyes away from him, and back to your son on the beach.

“I’m gonna suggest that next time, you should try giving communicating at a basic adult level a go first,” you say at last, your voice dripping with even more ridicule now, even more deserved this time. “And then I guess if that doesn’t work, you can move on to starting a fight in the middle of a debriefing with your Commanding Officer.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Jake tells you, his tone sarcastic purely out of habit, but he really does mean it.

A beat passes and it occurs to Jake that Rooster must not have told you any details about how the mission had ended up playing out, how despite Jake’s best intentions and worst behaviour, the thing that almost meant Rooster didn’t make it home to you and Goose, had been entirely out of his control, and that it was Jake’s actions that had meant Rooster would be able to return to your family after all was said and done, just like he’d been pushing to make happen from the start.

He blinks down at you, brought out of his thoughts when you bump into his side, nudging his arm with your elbow.

“Thank you, for not saying anything before he got the chance to tell Maverick himself… and for trying to look out for him.”

Jake nods solemnly, before he lifts his arm to wrap around your shoulder, giving you a brief squeeze as you both focus back on watching Goose again.

“For the record, it wasn’t him I was looking out for.” Jake cuts into the silence after a few minutes. You barely move to acknowledge his words, except for the roll of your eyes.

“If you keep ruining the moment, I’m going to tell Rooster that you complimented his abilities as a pilot.”

Jake glares down at you, but promptly clamps his mouth shut. To your credit, you don’t gloat about your victory, already focusing back on the apparent moment you were sharing, giving up all pretence of sourness when the sun begins peeking perfectly through the clouds, and Goose takes off running toward the two of you, a large collection of seashells gathered in his hands, shouting that he’d found one for you, following up right away by asking if you’ll put it on your desk at work. Jake takes that as his cue to release you, moving to instead swoop Goose up in his arms.

You watch as Jake carries your son back down to the sand, listening intently as he shows him each of the shells he’d found and chattering away about each of them as Jake asks. You smile a little wider when you sense Rooster stepping into place at your side, and he wraps his arm around your shoulder. You hum contently, and rest a hand against his chest.

“I think I’m willing to reconsider this whole ‘Uncle Jake’ topic.” Your husband tells you, earning an incredulous laugh from you.

“I’m sorry to ruin your illusion of control, but that ship sailed a while ago,” you chortle as Rooster grimaces and shoots you a look. You pat his chest sympathetically, and he covers your hand with his own. You both watch Jake and Goose for a few more peaceful moments, until your boy notices Rooster standing with you. “Daddy! Come play!” Goose calls out. Rooster grins widely as Jake begins talking loudly about how he isn’t brave enough to come out onto the sand. You watch as Rooster vaults the railing, and your heart grows soft as both aviators begin to give chase to Goose, with Rooster eventually gathering him up and holding him still for Jake to tickle.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

hello! i was hoping for a bg3 matchup for my tav? male preferred, but it can be a romanceable character or not

she's a tiefling sorcerer with the sage background. short build and curvy with long curly hair. she's extremely curious and loves literature and animals, so she spends a lot of time reading. mbti would probably be infp. her primary flaw is her reluctance to decline new experiences. very sweet disposition and has cozy, wholesome vibes

thank you, i love your writing!

A/N: Okay for you my Sage Background Anon, because you specified my answer didn't have to be one of the available romanceable characters within the game and that you preferred a male answer, I think that your best match would be Rolan (Male)! 

🎆 Rolan would be a wonderful matchup for your tiefling sorcerer Tav! 

As a fellow tiefling, your Tav understands just how hard Rolan has had to work to overcome all the prejudices associated with your race. She, despite being a sorcerer, born with natural power, has endured discrimination due to her hellish ancestry. This makes your Tav all the more understanding when Rolan feels the need to act superior or smarter. However, it also means your Tav is the exact right person to tell Rolan to knock it off or to just be himself. And Rolan can hear her say it and know that it's coming from a well-meaning place, rather than an ignorant one, because they share the same race. 

Rolan also appreciates dating a fellow magic user, although he may be a bit jealous at times at how easy sorcery comes to her, whereas he must practice his magic over and over again to be a proficient wizard. More often than not, however, that jealousy gives way to healthy admiration; Rolan sees your Tav as a role model, someone to aspire to be like. 

He loves Tav's shorter build, it makes him feel all the more masculine and dominant (lol Rolan size kink unlocked). And he can’t stop eyeing her curves, to the point where either Cal or Lia has to berate him for always ogling you in public. What? He can’t help it! He’s obsessed with the roundness and curviness of your form and the fullness and the flounce of your curls. 

The fact that your Tav loves reading is great because even though she doesn’t need to study as much as Rolan to enhance her magic, it means the two of them can have reading dates where she reads her novels and Rolan reads his magic texts. 

Regarding animals, Rolan can’t say he’s a fan- Ramazith Tower has a strict “no pets allowed” policy. But seeing your Tav gush over how adorable they are makes his heart melt. Okay fine, he’ll relent, Ramazith Tower can have some pets- so long as he doesn’t have to clean up after them. (Rolan’s basically the dad that says “No I don’t want a dog”, and then ends up spoiling the dog whenever he’s home.) 

Your Tav being an INFP and Rolan being what I see as an ESTJ makes you fairly compatible. The only thing to watch out for is the difference in your priorities. You value emotional commitment and friendship: you care to know what makes the people around you tick. On the other hand, ESTJs want to be productive: they value tradition and stability, preferring to keep things consistent, which doesn’t always jive when you want to put the feelings of others first. If anything this presents an opportunity for you to help Rolan become in tune with his inner emotive side, and Rolan can help your Tav in reassuring her it’s okay to not try every new experience that comes her way. 

Additionally, her reluctance to shoot down trying new experiences balances out Rolan’s refusal to try new experiences, period lol. She forces him to come out of his shell and he keeps her from getting too carried away. 

Rola’s been through a lot, he needs comfort. He’s very reassured by your Tav’s cozy and wholesome vibes- they make him feel right at home so long as they’re together. 

I hope you enjoyed! 

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[tsarisfanfiction]

Lee&Apollo au? Does that mean Lee lives or it's pre Lee's death?

Hello, anon! This is a Lee Lives AU but there's also a lot more going on with this one than simply that.

This is an AU where Apollo interferes in BOTL - he's monster hunting like he's supposed to, he's also the patron god of the camp and protector of the youth it's within his rights to step in and end that battle before any demigods die.

Except, Zeus doesn't see things like that. Instead, we get angry Zeus making one very big mistake - he turns Apollo mortal two years earlier, in the gap between BOTL and TLO.

This is referred to as "Lee&Apollo" because here, Apollo makes it to camp before being picked up by a scraggly feral demigod. Instead, he's picked up by Percy and Rachel on one of their dates and brought to camp, where the Apollo kids are savvy and know their mythology, especially the stories about their dad.

Lee claims Apollo's service.

Not because he wants to control Apollo, or anything, but to protect him from someone else claiming him instead. If one of Kronos' demigods got hold of Apollo... well. That would be bad.

I called this Zeus' big mistake, and it really is, because Apollo just helped the camp. He saved the demigods, and the demigods are well aware of that - in fact, they like Apollo for this. Apollo is now their favourite god because he stepped in rather than abandoning them to their fate.

Zeus has just punished Apollo for saving them.

Kronos is a problem, yes, but now the demigods are thinking much bigger. The demigods are thinking that Zeus is also a problem, that maybe there's a point to be had here about Olympus and the gods and specifically their king, if he's punishing a god for saving demigods.

Puny little demigods do not stand a chance against Zeus. They know this.

Kronos, on the other hand...

The entire camp joins Kronos. Apollo is dragged along for the ride, kicking and screaming because he does not want to be fighting against Olympus. Lee orders him to not reveal he's Apollo, to not respond to the name, etc., because they're still trying to protect Apollo - end goal is to have Kronos take out Zeus, then deal with Kronos (they were always going to have to do that anyway they might as well get some use of him first though). Some fun and games where Kronos figures out about Apollo anyway and tries very hard to get his service switched over to Luke (who he is possessing, so technically himself) by way of attempting to kill Lee, etc. The Olympian gods choosing sides based on whether they'd rather see Zeus go down or not (or more importantly, how much they like Apollo)... there's a lot going on here.

But I'll finish with the one actual piece of story I wrote for this so far, which is actually also the origin of my lie detector!Lee headcanon - which might age this concept somewhat given that that's a long-running headcanon of mine at this point. But this is where it began!

“Do you regret helping us?” Lee asked. Apollo’s face scrunched up.  “It got me turned mortal!” he exclaimed, gesturing at his admittedly incredibly un-godly looking scrawny teenage body.  “Of course I do!” Lee’s spine tingled as a ripple of unease spread through the cabin.  The younger demigods shifted uneasily, and if it wasn’t for two factors, Lee would be doing the same thing. The first factor was the look on Apollo’s face – it was defensive, as though daring someone to complain at him about it, and it was identical to the face Michael pulled whenever he realised he’d messed up but was too proud, or even afraid, to admit it. The second factor… “Well,” Lee said lightly.  “That answers one of the questions I’ve had for years." “What?  If our dad actually loves us?” Michael grumbled.  Lee didn’t bother to acknowledge his words, keeping his eyes on Apollo. “Whether the god of truth can lie,” he said. Apollo’s eyes widened a fraction and Lee put a hand on his shoulder. “I can tell when people are lying to me, Dad,” he reminded his father.  “One of the little tricks I got from you.  I don’t know what the truth is but you regretting it?  That was a lie.”  Apollo looked like a rabbit caught in headlights and Lee took pity on him, sitting down next to him.  Around them, the demigods were fidgeting again, but this time in confusion.  “You don’t have to tell us the truth if you’re not ready to,” he assured Apollo, putting an arm around his shoulders like he did his younger siblings when they needed some big brothering.  “And we’ll unpack why you felt like you had to lie about that later,” because if Apollo felt the need to lie about loving them, there was clearly something a lot bigger going on behind the scenes that Lee and the rest of the demigods weren’t privy to.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Hours in the Moonlight: Guileful Nightfall - 9. Chained

Summary: A stroll with Jamil through the Scarabia clan after what had happened the last time was certainly daunting. But it was also an opportunity you might not come across again. Who knows what you might be able to learn about the strange young man with just a little conversation.

Series Type: Gender-neutral reader/ Vampire AU/ series/ romantic/ angst/ angst with comfort/ fluff/ sfw/ platonic interactions too!

Trigger Warning: Vampire

Word Count: 2249

Hours in the Moonlight Master-List

I followed Jamil back to the library in silence, my mind rolling around various plans for what exactly it was I needed to do.

I wanted to figure out exactly what it was he wanted; I needed to figure out more about this entire insanity business with vampires and do the job Crowley sent me to do, but finally, and most importantly, I needed to keep myself safe while also making sure Vil, Rook, and Epel stayed out of this ordeal. Because heavens knew that if they involved themselves, this definitely would turn into even more of a mess.

My gaze flickered up so that I was looking at the young man’s athletic looking back. I supposed it was best to start the source.

I didn’t get to say anything before Jamil spoke though, his voice low and tinged with curiosity, but with a distinct undercurrent of measured self-control. Like he was trying to keep me from catching on to some sort of secret he held, “You said Kalim had made the Al-Asim clan seem like a wonderful place. What did he tell you?”

I felt my eyebrows rise at his words, but I answered him nonetheless. Slipping forward so that I stood alongside him and could better watch his reactions, “He described it as a fun place and said that your family was part of the clan, just like his.”

Jamil’s expression remained fairly neutral, and his eyes stayed on the path ahead of us as people shifted out of our way as I watched him closely. 

A few vampires paused, staring at me for a little bit too long, but they would look away the very moment Jamil’s gaze shifted towards them. A slight frown crossing his face in a subtle warning that I wouldn’t have caught if I hadn’t been watching him quite so closely.

After a brief moment, I continued softly, pondering the fact that Jamil, of all people, was warning others off me with a single glance even though he was the one who’d hypnotized me.

 “Kalim also mentioned that the two of you left to see the world. He said you’d always wanted the freedom to travel and that, after his dad agreed, the two of you had left and come here.” 

Jamil’s gaze slid my way this time, a wry smile flickering across his face before he nodded, “Yes, I did….”

He looked away, but I frowned at the undertone to his voice that had me almost speaking again before I halted, barely catching his bitter words that were whispered under his breath, “I still do.”

I frowned in confusion, shaking my head slightly. I wanted to question him, but something told me that he hadn’t intended for me to hear his words. He would probably slither right out of my grasp if I openly asked him anyway.

Unlike Kalim, who seemed to be open about everything, the more I puzzled over Jamil, the more secrets he seemed to have.

He also seemed cunning, though. I highly doubted he would slip up and let me know just anything without having been caught in some sort of situation where he had no choice but to speak up.

Or…. Perhaps I could play at his game and ease him into telling me what I wanted to know.

I tilted my head as I glanced over at the young man, “There is something I’m still curious about though.”

Grey eyes shifted back over to where I walked beside him, and I resisted the urge to look away and break eye contact. 

If I started determinedly avoiding eye contact, he might get suspicious. I would just have to take my chances and pray I could predict when he was about to hypnotize me and look away from him then.

“If the Al-Asim clan was so wonderful…. Why did you want to leave it and travel to the point of agreeing to make another clan and living away from where your family is?”

I was careful, letting worry seep into my tone so that he wouldn’t suspect anything. 

I was just a casually concerned individual. Someone who wanted to help. Because something told me that the only way he might let something slip would be if he underestimated me. 

Besides, there were so many reasons for why Jamil might have wanted to leave. 

And I was sure it had to have been Jamil who had wanted to leave the Al-Asim clan. Because it was obvious from the way Kalim had talked, the way his eyes had glimmered so brightly when he’d spoken of them, that he had been happy at the Al-Asim clan.

Jamil though… He’d apparently wanted the freedom to travel and still did. So what was he wanting to get away from? And did it have something to do with his odd behavior?

At odds with my expectations, a smooth and distinctly cunning smile slid across the young man’s face, and he turned to look fully at me as we came to a stop just in front of the door to the library, “Sometimes when you're in a place of comfort, you can’t grow.”

His words weren’t entirely untrue, but something about them rang hollow. Like it was a well-recited excuse that he didn’t truly believe himself. Something more like an excuse rather than the genuine truth. 

An excuse that he veiled well with a handsome smile and unwavering eye contact that sparkled with a confidence that spoke of his own belief that he was wholly in control.

I held his gaze, though, before nodding with a quiet sigh, “Sometimes doing the uncomfortable does result in growth…” I trailed off, stepping closer to the door and turning to enter the room, my voice softening as I thought of my own experiences. 

How delving into the world of vampires had been beyond uncomfortable but had resulted in my understanding of vampires growing. Couldn’t there have been a better way though?

I shook my head slightly, a smile slipping across my face. Jamil probably wasn’t talking about anything similar to my experiences, but I couldn’t quite keep the words from slipping out of my mouth, “But sometimes that isn’t the best way for a person to grow.”

I grasped the doorknob, but I was stopped before I could even hardly think about opening the door when Jamil’s hand reached around and covered mine, halting my motions. 

I felt myself tense at both his proximity and the cool touch of his hand as he leaned around me. Holding me in place as he spoke in a quiet voice, “So you’ve experienced being chained down as well?”

I turned my head only slightly to look over at him, finding his face mere inches from my own as he stared at me, and I did my very best not to quail at how close he was. 

For all I knew, this could be some sort of elaborate ploy to gain more control over the situation.

Jamil did strike me as someone who liked to be in control after all. But his question….

 Had I experienced what it was to be chained? Evidently enough, he felt that he had, and maybe that was the real reason he’d wanted the ‘freedom to travel.’ But perhaps more importantly, maybe he still felt that way, and that had something to do with whatever was going on here at this clan.

I swallowed slightly, looking away from him and back towards the intricate carvings on the door, as if they could serve to calm my swirling mind despite the way my voice wavered, “Maybe?”

I shook my head, feeling steadily more confused by the second, but something told me it wasn’t hypnosis this time. I didn’t have that same sleepy, relaxed feeling. Instead, I was totally aware. It was just that my mind was swirling with the possibilities.

It could be argued that I was slightly chained by the fact that pretty much I had to do whatever Crowley wanted, but I hadn’t ever really thought of it that way, and I didn’t think that was the sort of chains Jamil meant.

Jamil’s grip on my hand shifted as he twisted the doorknob, his hand still covering mine the entire time as he pushed the door open. 

The door opened silently, and I felt his hand on my back, urging me forward and lightly pushing me into the room in one smooth motion.

I stepped into the room silently, glancing back at the young man as he followed me, turning only to push the door shut and blocking the line of vision of those who looked towards us. No doubt questioning exactly what was going on.

After all, from their perspective, it probably looked like Jamil had blocked me against a door. And I supposed, in some ways, he had. But it hadn’t felt exactly like he was trying to wall me in. Instead, it felt like he hadn’t wanted people to hear or see what we were discussing.

The door shut with a quiet click, and he turned, looking my way once more. His gaze swept over my frame, like he was sizing me up the same way he had the very second he’d first seen me.

I stood tall though. Facing him fully, determined not to shrink back even though I had no idea where I stood right this second as I swallowed thickly. Because it was perfectly obvious that Jamil was making some sort of decision right now. One that, if I wasn’t horribly mistaken, would probably have quite a bit of say about how things went over moving forward.

He at last spoke; his eyes snapping up to meet mine in an oddly abrupt fashion. As if he’d reached his decision, “Is it Vil?” 

His words confused me at first before I put two and two together. He was asking about who might have made me feel chained.

I shook my head hurriedly, my eyes widening at the mere implications of his words. Putting his words with what Leona had told me about thralls and what the vampires had assumed about my and Vil’s relationship, his meaning was obvious and perfectly horrifying.

“No! Never. Vil would never do something like that. We’re… he’s an ally of mine.” Jamil’s eyebrows rose at my words. But then, to be fair, it was a rather vehement rejection of what he’d said.

He only tilted his head though, causing his hair to slide in the same direction in a wave of glossy black, “Crowley then?”

His tone was flat and I stilled, causing him to let out a slight snort before I nodded, frowning slightly as I spoke, “I hadn’t ever really thought of it in exactly the terms of ‘chains’ but yes, I suppose you could call it that.” 

I crossed my arms, my stare turning more pointed as I held Jamil’s gaze from across the room, “What about you?”

His brows furrowed at my question, and he crossed his own arms before glancing off to the side with a scowl, “The Al-Asim’s.”

I felt my eyebrows rise, a subtle show of surprise as I uncrossed my arms and walked over, claiming a seat as I continued to watch him.

He glanced back my way, a bitter smile crawling its way onto his face, “You’re Crowley’s ‘Hunter,’ and executioner of sorts, I suppose?”

I nodded, confirming his words, and he straightened, his eyes narrowing, “I’m the Al-Asim’s servant. My entire family is.”

Everything seemed to come to a screeching halt as he continued in a soft, but perfectly embittered voice, “I’m Kalim’s guard, his caretaker…and his servant.”

I felt my eyes widen before I could stop myself from visually reacting, and, for a brief moment, I really didn’t know what to say. His words certainly explained things, such as his longing for the freedom to travel, but they definitely weren't what I’d expected from the way everyone here seemed to respect him.

“Then the others…” I trailed off, not even sure of exactly what I wanted to say as Jamil walked across the room.

He pulled a book off a shelf, scowling at it before he started stacking the volumes he selected in his arms while simultaneously speaking with a bitterness that only seemed to grow as he continued, “They respect me because I’m the one that handles running the clan. If I didn’t, we’d have to go back to the Asim’s. At least here I do have some freedom.”

I twisted in my seat, turning so I could keep my eyes on him, “And Kalim?” 

I felt a distinct growing worry for the young man who, from what I’d seen, didn’t seem to know anything about the bitterness that this young man, whom he thought of as a friend, held towards his family.

Jamil’s motions paused, and I could see the frown on his face. It wasn’t the same bitter expression. There was something more there. Something almost frustrated.

“Kalim is… Kalim.” He at last spoke, faltering slightly in the middle before he finished, and I frowned.

Did that mean he had mixed feelings towards Kalim? 

I watched him as he approached, setting the stack of books down in front of me. And his mask of an efficient young man slipped back onto his face as he drew closer to where I sat, “These books all hold information about the Al-Asim clan. You should be able to find some sort of evidence here.”

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[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 78: Awkwardness, Overcome

Luigi was so wrapped up in wrestling with responsibility and morality that just like with his father, he didn’t notice Noemi until she sat down next to him.

He looked up in confusion; desperately glad to see her but embarrassed to be in such poor shape. Her wince when she got a good look at his face didn’t help put him at ease. “You have quite the shiner there, friend. It’s not too late for us to bail if your family isn’t as friendly as you thought.”

Luigi gingerly reached up, grimacing as his fingers met the bruised and swollen skin encircling his right eye, all the while struggling to process that Noemi was really here and that she’d said us. “I guess I must look like the monster I really am right now, but even I’m not evil enough to ditch Dad tonight.”

“Evil!?” she asked. “Whatever gave you that idea?” Luigi explained about the fight with Leroy, Amaya's angry words, his father's disappointment, and his larger secret shame. “I really hurt Beau. Am I going to keep hurting people because I can’t control myself?”

Noemi shook her head “You are a lot of things, but evil certainly isn’t one of them. Just the fact that you feel so terrible about what happened with Beau proves that.” When his downtrodden expression didn’t shift, she gently squeezed his hand and decided to try a different approach.

Turning playful Noemi said in a sing song voice: “Ooo look out, I’m evil Luigi! I’ll defend my friends from your insults and then become your co-captain and maybe best friend on the team! I’m so mean I have tons of friends and… she looked meaningfully through the window at the dancing and laughing crowd inside … way too many relatives who want to party with me.”

She made vampire hands to snatch at the now bemused Luigi who was watching her tirade with a much more put upon, but much less pitiful, look.

Noemi smiled as Luigi chuckled, feeling much better after her lighthearted show. “Thank you for that. I guess you’re right, maybe I’m not evil, but I obviously have some work to do controlling this stupid temper and making a better habit of repairing relationships like I did with Beau.”

Luigi knew that making amends for bad behavior wasn't the same as not causing the trouble in the first place, but saying sorry to those he’d hurt was a step in the right direction. He resolved to reach out to Bryon on Social Bunny one day soon and apologize for that whole mess as well.

Noemi agreed “There’s always room for personal growth. That’s… actually why I decided to come here after all.”

Now serious she explained “Luigi, I’m so sorry. Social situations are so hard for me, and this big wedding is terrifying. After you left that night, I tried to tell myself it was for the best, but I couldn't get you out of my head. The silent apartment you left behind taunted me with every empty room.”

“I looked at the future I was headed for and I didn’t like it one bit. I don’t want to end up a recluse afraid of crowds, but most importantly I don’t want to end up without YOU. It took me forever to find the courage, but I decided to come here and get my boyfriend back. Assuming you’re still willing to introduce us to your family that way.”

Luigi’s expression morphed into an excited smile. “Are you kidding?! You show up, turn my misery into happiness once again, and offer everything I wished for! I’d like nothing better than to take my girlfriend inside and show her around.”

Rising Noemi took a deep breath, muttering nervously “Let’s get this over with.” Luigi leaped up to embrace her, grinning like a fool.

“I’ll be there for you every second, and if all those hours of Sims Forever have taught me anything, it’s how to come up with a story to explain away an unusual situation!” They walked inside hand in hand, shocking his parents with his transformed mood and even more unexpectedly altered date.

True to his word, Luigi spun truth and lies into a smooth explanation. Meeting and discovering they shared a major at Harvestfest, their friendship deepening over time, and the awkwardness Noemi felt about meeting everyone again causing them to keep it all a secret until now.

His elders took the whole thing in stride. Peachy joked “there’s nothing wrong with keeping it in the family!” while Valentina simply said, “its lovely to see you again dear”.

With that hurdle overcome at last, Luigi led his reclaimed lady to the dance floor. Just like before that fatefulHarvestfestdinner he was excited to take their relationship to the next level now that they were out of hiding and Noemi was finally free of the burdens of the past.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[yumimak]

Anomaly- Chapter 1

Neteyam

Sky People.

The invasive species that have somehow found themselves on our planet, on our land, and even in our clan. 

I’ve known of these people my entire life. My own father used to be one of them and even one of my siblings' closest friends is one of them. The two scientists standing before me were even a part of the species.

Many people in our clan fear the sky people, only accepting Spider since he was raised among us. I can never say I have feared them though, my dad being the man who prevented that. But that does not mean I necessarily like the sky people, or want any more of them around than we already have.

My father feels the same way hence why his ears shoot up alertly when one of the human scientists mentions bringing two more sky people to their lab. 

Norm had been trying to convince my dad to meet with him for the past month. Seeing as he is very busy, making the time to be here had been very hard. Had he known what Norm and Max were going to ask he would have said no before even arriving, let alone drag Lo’ak and I along. 

I look over at my brother who stands on the opposing side of my dad, he looks annoyed as he brings his face mask up to his face to take a breath. I understand why though, I had been brought here to see how an Olo’eyktan would handle situations with the human scientists, but Lo’ak was here simply as punishment. He had stayed out past the eclipse and seeing as he hated meetings, my father made him join us here.

“You two really begged me here to ask a stupid ass question like that? No, you can not invite any more humans here,” my dad bluntly responds.

“Well they are not exactly humans per say,” Norm corrects. “They are more a mix between humans and na’vi.”

“Okay, so they are avatars? That doesn’t change my decision.” My dad moves to leave but the other scientist, Max, steps in front of his colleague.

“Jake, please fully hear us out.” 

My dad sighs before stepping slightly back, signifying he would hear them out. Max nods to Norm, signifying for him to continue. “Okay well,” Norm states, “These two, these siblings, are not avatars as you once were. They are quite literally a genetic mix of both humans and na’vi.”

Lo’ak and I give eachother an interesting look before my dad responds, “Norm, look, I understand how as a scientist you may find that interesting, but they were raised around humans and that mindset. How would we know that this isn’t just some plot to invade us?  Contact with that RDA base alone is so dangerous, Norm,  let alone bringing them to us, you know that. In fact, how do you know about them at all?”

“Well.. about five years-”

“Five years?!”

“Let him finish,” Max cuts my dad off. Only a few were bold enough to do so, but seeing as they were friends, my dad simply complied.

“About five years ago,” Norm resumes, “Our signal was interrupted by the RDA base.” Those words not only further peak my brother and I’s interest but also my fathers. Norm, Max, and the other human scientists here had apparently spent years perfecting their signal security to keep data away from the RDA. 

It had been strong, nobody had been able to get through it. Or, so we thought.

“I thought that was impossible,” my dad states.

“So did we,” Norm responds.

“But one of the two, the girl, was able to get through it like it was nothing,” Max adds. “Not to mention she was only thirteen at the time.”

“Although impressive,” my dad states, “I don’t see why this should make me welcome them here.”

“Well,” Norm starts again, “I had stayed in touch with her after that day. She was young and curious, but most importantly hated everything the RDA had been ingrained into their brains. I taught her about Pandora outside of what I knew the RDA had been saying to her. I taught her that the na’vi were not the ‘animalistic species’ that the humans wanted them to think they were.”

“That sounds great and all, but the clan is not a charity center. We can’t just take in random people because we feel bad.”

“Yes, I know that, Jake,” Norm says, frustration lightly dripping from his tongue. “But frankly I think it’s the least you could do.”

“Oh yeah, what have they done for me that should make me want to let them here?”

“Um, let’s think about how few raids you have had recently.. you think the RDA was just backing off? No, it was them cleverly sabotaging any plan they could have. Or how that girl has spent the past few years manipulating their experiments to avoid scientific developments that could lead to your demise. They risk themselves so often for people they have only heard of and they are only eighteen, Jake.”

“Not to mention all the things they must know,” Max cuts in. “All the info they must take in on the daily that you could benefit from in avoiding the RDA and their restriction. You need to think more strategically, man.”

I look up at my dad, he’s pondering their words yet his demeanor says no, it says that he will not back down on his initial answer.

“Come on, Jake,” Norm says. “These kids just want a normal life, one that they certainly won't get at that lab especially if they stay any longer. You know what it’s like being young and seeking a chance of actually making something of yourself. Don’t deprive them of that chance.”

Before my dad could make up his mind the distant sound of what seemed like the heavy front door shutting from somewhere else in the building sounds. There are two voices, one of a boy who is laughing, and the other of a girl which seems to be telling the boy to ‘shut the fuck up.’

The attention instantly falls back on the two scientists whose faces are both of guilt. “I know you did not bring them here anyway,” my dad mumbles in a mix of anger, annoyance, and just plain frustration.

“Well we thought that you were going to say yes and we just thought that this meeting was going to be three days ago which is how long their trip was,” Norm blurted out.

As the voices of the two get closer, my fathers lowers. “You two realize that as of now they have no set place to go? This was a dumb decision.”

“No, they can stay here until then, Jake, just please don’t push them away. Not yet, not until you’ve at least met them.”

“Fine,” my dad breathes out once more as our attention all draws to the door of the lab we were currently in as the voices draw nearer.

“It can’t possibly be that bad,” the boy laughs.

“Could you just shut up?” the girl asks in annoyance. “Where the hell is Norm?”

“LITTLE SCIENTIST FRIEND!!” the boy calls out. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” The sound of a slap echoes through the halls, “Owww.”

“Stop yelling, dumbass,” the girl mumbles.

My dad sends an unimpressed look to Norm who’s face reddens in embarrassment before he speaks up, “We’re in here!”

The directions of their  footsteps seem to change. “Who is ‘we?’” the girl asks as she slightly ducks to make it through the doorway. She pauses though when she sees my father, my brother and I.

Before she can say anything else though, a loud thud sounds from behind her. The boy, who seemed to not have noticed how low the door frames were, holds his head where he had harshly hit it. “Ah shit,” he mumbles, as he ducks to properly enter the lab.

The girl instantly breaks out into laughter, one hand covering her mouth and the other holding on her side. I think at that brief moment we all, excluding Norm and Max, noticed one defining trait of the two. They looked exactly the same, they were twins.

But of course other traits drew our attention, like the fact that despite their obviously human faces, they had tails and the boy had a que falling from the back of his head. Or the fact that they had the same striped marking as us, but instead of blue, their skin was that of a human shade. They had five fingers similarly to half of my family, but the same ears that all na’vi had. 

“Would you stop laughing?” the boy asks, his hand still holding his forehead in pain.

The girl still laughs as she mocks previous words that had been heard from down the hall, “Awh, come on. It can’t possibly be that bad.”

The boy grimaces at his twin while I take the chance to look up at my dad once again. His eyes were transfixed on the twins as I had, yet they had fully softened as the same realization that we all had set in.

They truly were just kids.

“Guys,” Norm says, drawing their attention back to our side of the room.

“Sorry,” the boy mumbles as he pulls his hand away from his face, although his eye still narrows from the pain in his head.

The girl still has a slight smile on her face though as the two of them make their way towards our side of the room. As they draw nearer I pick up on the fact that although they are significantly taller than Norm and Max, they are also much shorter than the average na’vi.

“What were you two fussing about in the hallway?” Max asks as the twins simultaneously reach behind them, in between their jacket and their back, removing a small handgun from their respective waist bands. As if heavily coordinated to move in sync, they both unload their guns, sliding the thing that holds the bullets into their left pocket and placing the guns on one of the tables near the entrance.

The boy answers when they finally join the group of us at the center of the lab, “She got hurt and has been complaining about it for the past five hours.”

We all look at the girl but she just grimaces up at her brother before sighing and looking at Norm. “I got stung by like three Zezi’,” she explains, her pronunciation of the na’vi insect rolling off her tongue almost perfectly.

Norm’s face turns into one of concern, “Can I see?”

The girl nods before letting her jacket fall off her shoulders. She wore one of those very small shirts that I've seen pictures of human women wear. With her jacket gone, the marks that scattered over her skin in the same way that bioluminescent marks would scatter over na’vi bodies were now visible. But instead of glowing, the majority of the marks were just a darker shade of her normal skin shade, humans call them freckles.

Besides her marks, the most obvious thing presented on her exposed torso were the three huge, red stings that had definitely been left by the Zezi’. Knowing how bad just one of those stings are; my dad, Lo’ak, and I all wince at even the sight of the three of them. The girl rolls her eyes at our reaction, mumbling, “You’re telling me.”

Norm nods over to one of the lab benches near us before going off to grab something, “Sit up there, I have something that will help.”

The girl moves to the table, her brother in tow. She hops up on to the table where he simply leans against it. Jake looks to Max, expecting something that he was not getting. “um,” Max stumbles out, “Why don’t you two introduce yourself to my good friend Jake.”

“The Olo’eyktan?” the boy asks.

“Mhmm,” Norm hums as he returns. He has a tiny jar in his hands, “he and his children are eager to meet you.”

The twins' eyes flicker to my father who was visibly frustrated. “He doesn’t look eager,” the girl states.

“What’s up with you?” the boy asks.

Norm sighs at their questioning as he opens the jar beside the girl. He removes a leaf that had been soaked in a medicine that my grandmother had made him to help with healing these wounds. “Well, I can’t say that I am excited to be welcoming you too.”

The girl rolled her eyes before mumbling to Norm, “You didn’t tell me he was so rude.”

“Y/n,” Norm warns her away from speaking ill of my father.

“What? I’m just saying tha- ah shit!” The girl, who’s apparently called ‘Y/n,’ sentence is cut short when Norm places the leaf against one of the stings. Her ears fold down and she squeezes her eyes shut. In contrast to her, the boy beside her ears shoots up in alertness as he seems to check on his sister.

“Sorry,” Norm mumbles. The girl brushes him off before she looks back to my dad, expecting him to finish explaining himself.

He does just that. “I am not excited because I had no clue you too were going to be here. Considering you guys are coming from our main enemy, I don’t think I can let you simply join our clan.”

The twins look at my dad as if they have seen a ghost, they are so distracted by his words that Y/n doesn't even seem to notice when  Norm placed another leaf, aside from her stifled inhale. “What do you mean you didn’t know?” the boy asks.

The girl looks at Norm, slightly pushing him away before he could place the last leaf. “I thought you said that he was okay with it.”

Norm’s face turns red in guilt, “Well I was expecting him to say yes sooner.” As he explains himself he places the last leaf. This time, when he places the leaf, the girl seems to express the pain by hitting Norm in the arm. “Oww,” he says, holding his arm. “What was that for?”

“For being an idiot! You really made Noah and I take that long ass trip without even knowing if he would let us stay or not?”

“I thought he was going to meet with me sooner. I thought that by the time he said yes you would have already been on your way here, my timing just didn’t work out. But, he’s at least thinking about it.”

Y/n looks to my dad hopefully. Norm looks to my dad with the same look, except his begs for my dad to lie for his own sake. Despite either look, my idiot of a brother decides to instigate, “He never said that.”

“Look, kid,” my dad says solemnly. “You have to understand it from my point of view. I am the leader of the clan and me allowing you too to simply join would not be smart on my part. You come from the people that threaten the existence of my very clan. Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

The boy's ears are flat against his head when he responds, “Yes.”

My dad looks at the girl next but she has somewhat of a defiant look etched onto her face. “Do you?” my dad questions again.

“Well, I do, but I don’t necessarily agree,” she responds. “I think your logic is flawed.”

With those simple words, the atmosphere shifts. Nobody challenged my dad ever; not on his plans, not on his logic. The only people who had a say were my mother and my grandmother. Definitely not the random girl that had randomly arrived here merely a few minutes ago.

“Y/n,” Max warns this time, taking a step closer to the two.

“No,” my dad says, putting a hand up before looking back at the girl. “What’s wrong with my logic?”

“Well,” the girl starts as she pulls her legs up onto the table and crosses them. “I totally understand you wanting to protect your people. There is nothing wrong with that, but I feel that if you push us away you’d only be harming the clan you’re trying so hard to protect. I mean, you haven’t even considered why we’re even here, because I assure you it’s not just for kicks and giggles.”

My dad sighs, “Why are you here?”

A smug smile covers her face, “I thought you’d never ask.”

“We’re here because we want to help you,” her brother cuts in, getting the conversation back on track.

“Why would I need help?” my dad asks.

“Maybe because the RDA is making plans that you’d most likely never see coming.”

“Plans that my brother and I are very much aware of,” Y/n starts back. “Even with future plans out of the picture, you’ve got to have noticed how little raids you have had. That was us. And in all honesty, if I wanted to bring harm to your people I could've drained every bit of info these scientists had when I had intercepted your lousy signal five years ago. But I didn’t, because I care about your land and your people. We both do. But with the way things are going now, even our attempts at holding them back are faltering. And us being there, with those scientists, will only progress the speed of their progress.”

“What plans?” my dad.

Her mouth almost turns down into a frown before she speaks again, “Well they no longer seek unobtainium as they used to. At this point they seek to make Pandora the new habitat for humans.”

“Which is why we even exist at the moment,” the boy adds.

“What?” Lo’ak asks a question that I know the three of us are all pondering.

“Okay,” the girl restarts. “At first the RDA seeked data and resources from the land. But seeing the downwards spiral that Earth is going through, they are now seeking to make Pandora the new Earth. They no longer want what you can give them, they want your people gone and for being’s like Noah and I to replace the na’vi, making it a new, human conquered and inhabited land.”

“So they’ve just thrown the whole Avatar Program out the window?” My dad asks, heavily hanging on to each of her words. 

“And what’s the difference between you two and an avatar?” I ask.

The girl looked between the two of us before answering my dad first, “Yes, they closed down the Avatar Program about three years after you left, Mr. Sully. And to answer your question,” she looks at me, “Avatar are simply bodies that inhabit the mind of a human. Noah and I are genetically bound to these bodies how you are to yours and how humans are to their original form without the Avatar.”

The girl lifts her five-fingered  hand, looking at it as she speaks, “Noah and I were born into these bodies.” She drops her hand before looking at my father, “After years of research they’ve found out how to create a perfect mix between na’vi and human traits. It’s a true and honest fact that should scare the shit out of you because if they are able to reproduce our DNA then they are just one step closer to replacing humankind with beings like us. And another step closer to getting rid of your people.”

There is a frighteningly still silence in the air as Noah speaks again, “Not to mention the specific vendetta that Quaritch has against you.”

“Oh yeah, that man hates your guts.”

The name shocks all of us, Lo’ak and I had only ever heard of it from stories of the war that was fought many years ago. We were told that he was dead though, the only living trace of him on this planet being his son Spider. My dads eyes narrow as he steps closer to them, “Where did you hear that name?!”

“Um, most recently..?”

“Probably, five days ago when he got mad at Y/n and I and we were called to his office.”

Y/n laughs as she looks over to her brother and further explains, “He was so pissed because we had missed our training and apparently it was ‘crucial for us to be there.’”

“Your impression of him is so bad,” he laughs.

“I’d like to see you do better.”

“Okay then,” he responds, accepting her challenge as he deepens his voice and mimics the man they speak of. “‘You too were supposed to be there, it was crucial-’”

“Enough!” My dad announces before their games can continue. Their ears drop as they look to my father, an almost fearful expression on each of their faces. Their scared expression dissolves when they turn and see it was just my dad. As if they expected the yell to have come from someone else. “This is not a game, it is not funny to joke about this. Quaritch is dead.”

The girl shakes her head, “The old white man you called ‘Quaritch’ may be dead, but his consciousness is most definitely alive and thriving.”

“They gave him an Avatar?” my dad asks in disbelief.

Noah nods, “Yep, he’s now a tall blue man with lots of guns and a bunch of other Avatars beneath him.”

“And all of them seek the destruction of you and everyone you love,” the girl finishes. Her eyes flickering over to Lo’ak and I, “Which seems to now include more than just Neytiri.” My dad’s jaw clenches yet his ears lower against his face. The twins have just brought all of my dads possible fears to life without even realizing it. Y/n notices this look, “But if you let us stay here a lot of this can be prevented. Recreating our DNA will be difficult if Noah and I aren’t there. And we swear to give you everything we know for the greater good of your clan. We just need you to promise that you’ll protect us in return.”

Her last sentence is one pack with longing. As if out of all the words she had spoken, those twelve words were the only ones that truly mattered to her.

My dad lets out a heavy sigh, “I can’t just let you in to the clan-”

The twins' ears drop and their mouths fall into deep frowns.

“-without speaking to Neytiri and Mo’at. It will take a lot of convincing, but if they say yes then I will allow it.”

They react twice as fast to those words, ears peeking up words and big smiles forming that allow their pointed canines to be revealed, “Really?!”

“Yes, it’s not a promise that they will say yes, but you can stay here even if they say no.”

Swinging tails show their excitement. “Thank you so much, sir,” the boy says.

My dad can’t fight his smile as he nods to the two before excusing us. They wave goodbye as we exit the lab, removing our masks and leaving the building. The second we are back outside, my fathers smile drops and he sighs.

“What’s wrong, dad?” Lo’ak asks.

“Nothing,” he responds, “It’s just..”

“You aren’t going to ask, mom?” I question, my stomach sinking at the idea of my father giving the twins false hope. “No, no. I will ask, I just.. I just fear they will say no.”

[thataddylady]

Analysis: 'To Sir Phillip with Love'

Ok y'all i can't sleep so here is part two.

When we meet Phillip in 'To Sir Phillip with Love', he is trying to claw his way out of depression himself.

He's on the other side of a very unhappy and lonely marriage and has just finished burying his wife who he frankly thinks died to get away from him and return to her first love. He is the only person who is aware of Marina's suicide attempt.

The only thing that terrifies him more than his own temper (which he got from dear old dad) is sadness. He is deeply triggered by it. This is important to keep in mind.

In the books Marina is Eloise's cousin, so he writes to the family to inform them of her death and Eloise responds. They strike up a correspondence and Phillip, who has two motherless children takes a shot in the dark and asks Eloise to marry him. If she's willing to visit his home he'll make arrangements (get a chaperone etc) to see if they will get along in person and take things from there.

Hot Take: Phillip treats Eloise shabbily when she arrives, but this is... a bold take.

Eloise, freshly freaked out by her spinster buddy marrying her brother, legit disappears during a ball and takes off to Phillip's estate without notifying her family or more importantly, Sir Phillip. So our girl shows up on this man's doorstep, talking non-stop as she is wont to do and he has had no warning or inkling as to who she is or why she has arrived there. He's not expecting her as weeks have passed since his last letter suggesting marriage with no response from her. Like a normal person, he thinks "Welp, it was nice having someone to talk to while it lasted. Back to the wilderness of my life."

When Eloise shows up he is flabbergasted as her appearance and generally awkward because he has no idea what to do next. He hasn't had company in around ten years, he hasn't had much social interaction at all outside of his kids (who are delightful little gremlins) and his servants. Our scholar is now a socially awkward adult with trauma and low self-esteem.

Hot take: Phillip is a distant father who doesn't care about his children and just wants a housekeeper/ nanny he can have sex with so he doesn't have to bother with them.

So first of all, Phillip loves his children, those are his damn babies. And a close reading will show that his children are in fact going off the rails because they are used to him being a present and engaged father. They are used to hanging out with him in his green house or going on nature walks with him. He was the active parent with them while their mother was alive. But Phillip is not in a place where he can cope with them when we meet him in the books and hasn't been for months. As a result, they are doing what children do in a bid for attention. They are causing havoc.

And as a parent who is already overwhelmed Phillip is doing his level best. He deeply loves his children but he is overwhelmed by what they need from him because he is drowning mentally and emotionally in PTSD. He needs space and time but they need him so what do they do? They riot. When they riot he gets angry but as noted before he is a large man who is terrified of losing his temper with his children and hurting them. So he avoids them most times.

Think the first Nanny McPhee movie.

But it's important to note this has only been the state of affairs for around six months. The ten years before he was an active loving parent. His daughter seeks his comfort and jumps into his lap without hesitation. When she calls him "Daddy" at the end of the book, he remembers that she used to call him that before he drifted away from them and he misses it. So calling him a deadbeat dad is not fair.

What Phillip desperately needs and craves is help. He knows his children need a mother, he knows he hasn't been able to step up to the plate lately and so his check list for a wife is as follows, someone who

manages his children (and his life) but is still kind and loving to them.

takes control of his life and household so he can breathe for a minute while he processes a lifetime of trauma in his greenhouse.

Isn't sad. She doesn't have to be wildly happy she just can't be sad.

Hopefully doesn't mind talking to him upon occasion or having sex once in a while.

That's the list. No romance? Look at his life up until this point. There is nothing to let him think he deserves to be loved or should expect more than the bare minimum. His hope is that he can be tolerated and his best case scenario is that his wife likes him.

The bar is in hell.

It is also clearly stated that he knows their behavior is due to his failure as a parent, and that his anger is not just because of them. He sees himself as a failure. His father didn't love him because he failed to be as good as his brother. Marina couldn't get over his brother's death and find the will to live because he failed as a husband/protector.  His children are wild gremlins because he is a failure as a father.

Then Eloise shows up and everything changes. She comes from a large crazy loving family as we all know so wrangling kids is a walk in the park. They prank her? She pranks back. They wanna be sneaky? She wrote the book. They want to play mind games? She is the queen of psychological warfare. She is fun, she is engaging but most of all she can handle basically anything and because of that Phillip is able to breathe.

Hot Take: They are boring and Eloise deserves better than a boring scholar who just wants to have sex.

So... I mean to each their own, but here are some facts about our baby girl, Eloise. She is a loud, opinionated, bossy little thing who doesn't like to be told no. She can be a HUGE brat. She is intellectually curious, she loves conversation and she in interested in the world around her to the point of being nosey and obnoxious. But while she is entertaining to read, she is also A LOT.

By her book she is a LEGIT spinster (28 years old) everyone her age or near to it is married and pregnant or about to be and she is finding herself by herself. She knows she is a handful, she knows people find her to be too much so what is she hoping for? A man who doesn't mind her entire personality cause it's not changing any time soon.

Does she expect love? No. Why? Because to her if her own family loves her but mostly tolerates her then what hope does she have of finding a man who doesn't mind being ordered about but isn't a weakling?

When Phillip and Eloise start interacting the truth is neither knows what to expect from the other. There's attraction, sure, but there is also a genuine appreciation. He LOVES that she always knows what to do and has the energy to make shit happen. He loves how bossy she is. He is shocked that she cares enough to take an interest in his hobbies because literally no one ever has.

Eloise loves that he always listens to her. Does he tease her sometimes about how much she talks? Yes. But he always listens, and participates when she is talking. He isn't cowed by her strong personality, her intelligence, or the fact that she is a better shot than he is. Beyond that, these are legitimately some of his favorite things about her.

By now we know what Phillip is getting out of this. A loving mother for his children, a manager for his life who is more than capable, a companion who seems to care about him and his interests and the sex life he never thought was possible for him.

So what is Eloise getting out of this deal?

Well, for starters, a man who:

Adores the air she breathes and the ground she walks on.

Has the body of a lumberjack and the sex drive of a retired priest (think Fleabag).

Possesses the intellectual vigor to keep up with her talking and her mind.

Is interested in everything about her

Is loyal and honorable (never broke his marriage vows to Marina)

Is sweet and cares deeply about her happiness to an almost pathological degree.

LOVES her mind and her mischievousness

Appreciates her skills even/especially when they edge into unorthodox territory

Supports literally everything she does. (If she wanted to take over the world he would be the first to vote for her and enlist in her army).

Will fight anyone who tries to talk smack about her (even her scary brothers)

Now we can argue about what she deserves, but to me that list is a winning list. That is a dream list.

Hot take: Phillip doesn't listen to Eloise.

There are two instances where Phillip has notably bad reactions to Eloise.

One is when she takes his kids swimming in the lake where Marina attempted suicide. Again, he is the only one who knows about that. He freaks out because A) It's THAT lake, and B) He never taught them to swim and didn't realize they had learned. So a trauma response, and one he apologies for.

The second is when Eloise is trying to tell him she doesn't like the nanny. Who is a b*tch. He is in honeymoon mode, she implies that they have a problem in the marriage and he spirals at the thought that she isn't happy. Again it's not his best moment, again it is a trauma response. Outside of those two times he's always listening to Eloise and most of the time he's agreeing with her.

On to part three. What do we Philoiseers love so much about them?

@whatsaweekend Part 2

[the-lumpfish-king]

HEY! It’s me, Lumpku!

Thought I’d make one of these pined post things to introduce myself.

My name is Solanum, but you can call me Sol or Lump (or Sol Badthey if you’re epic)

I’m a 23 year old ginger, use they/it/she/anything non-male, demiromantic, exist in an asexual quantum superposition, and am bi/pan. Most importantly, I am also a fish

I have a degree in Physics with plans to go into a PhD program for research Astronomy. My area of focus is galaxy structure, formation, and evolution. I’m currently working on my first research papers, adapting my undergraduate thesis work into proper astronomy journal form. I love doing physics and take requests for calculations, stupid or serious (check “#lump’s calculations” for those I’ve done so far, these are my best posts by far).

I try to keep fully nsfw stuff off this blog, but mild nsfw is to be expected, so minors beware

Outside of research, work, and classes I can usually be found gaming, playing MTG, or putting way too much effort into my shitposts while watching something on my second monitor.

I can be found on a few other sites under the same username but am only active here, and if any mutuals want to connect on discord or steam dm me

If you take one thing away from reading this it’s GO PLAY OUTER WILDS RIGHT NOW. Do not look up anything about it, just play the game and then get your friends to play it. Then we can all talk about it. Please, I need to talk about this masterpiece with more people.

Now that you’ve learned about me I have gained access to your walls. Don’t worry, all I do is nibble a bit of drywall from time to time.

Too many fun facts below

My personal motto is: “The universe is scary and so much bigger than any of us can comprehend, so it’s our duty to fag it up as much as possible”

My plushies names: -Tofrug: Lord Squishers -Manatee: Weapon of Lettuce Destruction -Reimu Fumo: Air Fried Bastard -Hydreigon: Hans -Vaporeon: Dihydrogen Monoxide Puppy -Meowscarada: Greenfield -Reshiram: Nuclear Mommy -Gardevior: Horizon -Blåhaj: Jimbei -Gobbo Bard: Ga Bu

I love nature, and evergreen forests in particular. I enjoy hiking and mushroom and berry picking.

My most proud find is this massive cluster of morels I came across a couple years back.

Here’s an overabundance of my personal top 3′s, not necessarily the three I think are best (except Outer Wilds, that’s best thing humanity has produced). Games: Outer Wilds, FFXIV, Ori and the Will of the Wisps Manga: One Piece, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Dungeon Meshi **Books:** Red Rising, Percy Jackson, A Song of Ice and Fire Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Secret of Kells, How to Train Your Dragon Shows: Mob Psycho 100, Good Omens, Ya Boy Kongming! Characters: Mr Torgue Highfive Flexington, Kronk, Nico Robin Mountains: Mt. Hood, Sierra de la Laguna, Mauna Kea **Flying Critters: Giant Golden-Crowned Flying Fox, **Pelican, Toucan **Landbound Creatures: **Red Panda, Jumping Spider, Goliath Frog Marine Animals: Sea Lion, Lumpfish, Giant Pacific Octopus **Pokemon: **Gardevoir, Hisuian Goodra, Zekrom **Soundtracks: **FFXIV, Made in Abyss, Wildfrost Albums: Starship Velociraptor, The Cures What Ails Ya, Westwinds (The Real McKenzies) Foods: Cottage Pie, Khao Soi, my dad’s Chile Verde **Fruit: **Mexican Pitaya, Atemoya, Mango, Huckleberry Galaxy Clusters: Abell 0209, Abell 1689, macs0416

Here’s a couple of neat galaxy pictures I took using my university’s telescope:

[alianarepasa]

Little Toy Prince: Chapter 1

Summary: After bringing in a wooden Christmas toy Nutcracker, which for some reason, looks like his ex-rival, SMG3 woke up from a noise in the upper floor of his cafe. Little did he know, he will be experiencing the classic Christmas story, without any knowledge of its story.

Tags: Inspired by Barbie in the Nutcracker, Nutcracker Story

Note: Thanks to Olive/lullabycreations for being my proof-reader for the Prologue and Chapter 1, even if they have no knowledge on SMG4

When he noticed it, he instantly sprinted, and then crouched a little to take a closer look at the box. He titled his head. “The hell?” SMG3 thoughted in confusion. 

He doesn’t remember having that box being there, did he order something from earlier? He checked his online shopping application on his phone, and to his surprise, there is no listing that he ordered something. So if he didn’t even order anything, why the hell is it here? In fact, how long is it here? He then looks left and right if anyone is looking up at him, in which no one did as the area he is in right now is empty. Well it makes sense since it is gonna be closer to night time right about now. Either way, he took the box with him, and instantly went inside into his cafe.

As he goes inside, he is then instantly greeted by his beloved doggo child Eggdog. He instantly smiled and greeted his pet.

“Hello Eggdog! Miss your dad?”

Eggdog barked in excitement as it can be translated as a yes to his dad. However, Eggdog then stopped, looked at the box, and tilted his head, as if he was curious about what SMG3 was holding. SMG3 instantly noticed it.

“Oh this? It's just a box I found in front of our cafe. I… don’t know who left it there though. Did you see someone either delivering it, or leaving it at the door, Eggdog?” He asked.

Eggdog then tilted his head again. Crap, that just means the answer is a no. SMG3 was saddened by that answer, but it is no big surprise.

“Huh… well, whoever left this box outside, it got to be something!” He exclaimed it in a slight furiousness, as he wanted some answer. Eggdog barked at SMG3 back, probably telling Three that maybe he could try checking the box to investigate it further, in which, SMG3 agreed.

“Yea you’re right Eggdog! Maybe I should check in this box!” He placed the box on the counter, with Eggdog then jumped into it as well, and thus, the investigation began.

From what SMG3 and his doggo see, it is a brown box with no stamps and/or writing on it for starters, which means that this is a suspicious looking box. Great! Totally not suspicious at all! Secondly, it doesn’t have a tape to keep the box protected from being open, or at least, the box itself doesn’t seem to be sealed when he first saw it, which not only gave Three another huge red flag, but also made him think that someone probably already opened it and “steal” it, making him think that the box is empty. But this doesn’t make any sense, as he felt that there was something inside of that box when he carried it. It isn’t too heavy, but it isn’t too light either. And lastly, and most importantly, when he carried the box, it also didn't have a letter right next to it, making this suspicious looking box even more suspicious.

SMG3 then thought to himself, what if he just opens the box, and sees what’s inside of it? After all, it was placed at his cafe, maybe it could be some kind of Secret Santa or whatever gift giving secret is called in Christmas, just done either very rashly, or poorly, as if someone gave up trying to wrap the gift itself. Either way, he opened the box, with Eggdog of course confused, yet curious on why his dad opened it, and as he opened it, he was surprised by what he saw. Inside of the suspicious box, is a Nutcracker, or at least, he guessed that it is a Nutcracker?

The Nutcracker is not what SMG3 expected, he just had this talk with SMG4, and agreed that he, Four, and the others would watch a Barbie movie adaptation of it, and now this wooden toy came into his own cafe, as if the universe is laughing at him again, only this time, they’re laughing at him because of his “I don’t celebrate Christmas with anyone, therefore, I ain’t celebrating it!” Mentality in the past, which is already not a good sign for SMG3. Although, as he took a closer look at it, the Nutcracker appearance looks a bit peculiar to him. It has a blue marching band outfit look, with brown boots, and some gold and white accent to each component of the outfit. Its hat is also in that color scheme, with a “S” insignia on it. As he looked down into its face, he noticed that the carving of its face looks more like SMG4, has the exact hairstyle, hair color, and everything, except, the eyes is a black to blue gradient dot, with a fake white highlight on the left side of each of its eyes. This made SMG3 a realization. His face turned into annoyance.

“...This is for SMG4 isn’t it?” He said it as he turned his head to Eggdog. Of course, Eggdog simply replied with a bark. SMG3 then sighed and looked back at the wooden toy. “Well, may as close this box and-” As he’s about to close it, he causes the box to nudge a bit, which causes the Nutcracker to slightly slide as well, but it also causes the right arm to slightly separate to its body. SMG3 instantly noticed this.

“Ah crap, not only they mailed this box to the wrong location, they probably accidentally broke it!?” SMG3 then groans in irritation. He then grabs the Nutcracker, with it’s right arm out of the box, and places them into the counter, with Three placing the Nutcracker standing up. “I’ll be right back, just gonna get something to fix it’s arm.” He said as he left the counter area of the cafe, and entered the “Employees Only” room, leaving Eggdog, and the right armless wooden doll in the room. While Eggdog waited for his dad to get the tool, Eggdog then started to get a bit curious about a wooden doll, and tried to sniff it. As the doggo is about to do it, suddenly, the wooden doll turns its head to Eggdog, as if it is like one of those creepy dolls. This freaked Eggdog out a bit, and started to bark, possibly trying to call for his dad. Thankfully, SMG3 got out of the “Employees Only” room with a toolbox, as he looked at Eggdog in a frightened, yet worried look.

“HUH?! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG EGGDOG?” SMG3 exclaimed. Eggdog barks repeatedly to the Nutcracker, as if the doggo is trying to tell Three that the doll’s head turned at him unexpectedly, in which gave Three a skeptic look for at least a moment until he looked at the wooden doll, and noticed that his pet son is right, the head did turned. This caused SMG3 to widen his eyes a bit because of that. “The hell?! How did that doll turn its head? Do even Nutcrackers do that on their own?” He said in a shock, yet with a slight of a frightened look on his face. He holds the wooden doll, and expects it a bit. He then turns the wooden doll’s head back into a front position, and sees if it moves, and within a second, it turns its head back into the position that it turned to Eggdog before. SMG3 examines the doll a bit more and finds out what caused it. He then tells Eggdog about it, and petted him to reassure his little doggo.

“Aww, it’s alright my little Eggdog! This doll head is just a bit loose. Let me just fix it a bit, while also putting its arm back into its body ok?” This thankfully calmed Eggdog.

After reassuring his meme pet son, he then started to fix the Nutcracker. Firstly, SMG3 slightly pushes the head a bit to make sure it doesn't feel loose, in which he successfully fixed, as he tested it to make it turn into a different direction, without having it turning into the same direction. After that, he then examined the right shoulder of the wooden doll, and noticed that the peg for the right arm was no longer in the slot, but rather, it was instead stuck to the arm itself, in which he pulled the peg out from its arm, and saw that the peg was broken. He tries to fit the peg back to its shoulder slot, but with no luck.

“Hmm, maybe the peg itself is broken?” He wondered about it as he took a look at it. 

The peg itself seems to have… cut off in half? This causes SMG3 to feel more confused. Why would a single wooden peg be cut off? I mean, it is impossible to literally cut off the smallest wood, not to mention, a wooden peg, with an axe or a saw blade, well, maybe the latter one could be possible if you have a very sharp eyesight, can easily not get yourself a cut, and make it not move around, but still, this feels a bit odd for Three. Either way, he checks if the other half of the peg is in the right shoulder slot, but it was there unfortunately. He sighed in disappointment.

“Well, I'm gonna need to find a good replacement for this peg. Maybe I could just replace it with a screw?” He questioned himself. SMG3 then gets his toolbox and gets the screws, and the screwdriver. He then uses his phone and turns on its flashlight mode to see if the thread of the screw can fit in, and make sure the peg’s original spot isn’t too large that it will take the whole screw, while also not too small of a slot that it won’t fit in, which thankfully, it is in the right size. After that, he placed his phone to the side and grabbed the screw, as he gently placed it into its slot, and then he used his screwdriver and placed its tip into the screw’s head, and turned the handle clockwise gently until it was right enough to place the arm. He then inserted the arm, and it was done!

“There! Good as new! Man, I'm so awesome for fixing it!” He egotistically noted himself, self-proclaiming himself that he was the best at it, with Eggdog bark excitedly that his dad fix the Nutcracker. Three smiled at his doggo.

“Now that I fixed this wooden doll, I may as well put it back and-” As he was about to say something, he then heard a notification noise on his phone. He picks it up and checks the phone, and who else but SMG4 himself. Four has messaged Three, and causes him to check on it. The message reads…

STUPID BINGUS 

(SMG4)

Hey Three! Just letting you know that if you already have a gift ready for your Secret Santa for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve!

Sent 6:50pm

Hope you didn’t just have to give them your cafe merch and that’s it. I’m kidding lol.

Sent 6:50pm

But in seriousness though, just letting you know about it.

Sent 6:51pm

“Well… shit…” Three muttered under his breath. He realized that he forgot the gift… great… he’s smoked! He instantly checked into his counter cabinet and saw if he still had that paper that he drew it from a couple of weeks ago. He sadly couldn’t find it in the cabinet, as he instead then checks his overall pockets, but got no luck. He then screamed, and started to shudder.

“AHHH! WHERE DID I EVEN PLACED IT?!” Eggdog then started to help his dad by sniffing it out. They looked and checked everywhere in the cafe, but unfortunately, it wasn’t anywhere in the area they are in, until SMG3 got his expression widened.

“Maybe I left it at my evil lair! C’mon Eggdog!” He exclaimed in worries, with his doggo replied back with a simple bark.

Eggdog then instantly jumped into Three’s arm, and instantly went into the “Employee Only” room, without noticing that they left the Nutcracker unintended.

Few hours went by, it was almost 9 o’clock pm. SMG3 and Eggdog came back from their bedroom, still worried that he had lost that paper. Three then started to panic.

“OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD! WHERE DID THAT PAPER COULD BE? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO IS MY SECRET SANTA THIS YEAR! IF I LEFT AT FOUR’S PLACE I-” As Three keeps circling around the room and talks in worries, while Eggdog is look sadden as he has the same feeling as his dad right now, he narrowed his doggy eyes a bit at the wooden doll, then instantly went back to seeing it again, as he noticed something right next to the doll. It was that paper that his dad was looking for! Eggdog then started to bark at his dad to get his attention, in which Three did.

“Hm? What is it boy?” Three asked with a worried expression. His son pointed at the paper with his snout, which he followed on what Eggdog had pointed. He instantly went to it and grabbed it immediately.

“OH THANK GOD!” He exclaimed in relief. “IT WAS THERE THIS WHOLE TIME?! BUT LAST TIME I CHECKED, IT WASN’T THERE BEFORE LAST TIME!! HOW IS IT THAT POSSIBLE?” SMG3 added as he questioned the placement of the paper. Eggdog then suddenly stares at the wooden doll suspiciously, which made SMG3 confused at first, until his own mind made an instant realization on why Eggdog was feeling suspicious at the doll. He believes that Eggdog is trying to say that the doll did something with it.

“Eggdog, are you saying that the wooden doll was hiding the paper, or at least retrieve it back for me to grab it?” He skeptically asked Eggdog. Eggdog did not respond to Three with a bark, but he however started sniffing around the counter, then jumped off safely to the ground, as he continually sniffed until he stopped at the other side of the entrance door to Three’s cafe. Three then followed Eggdog, and as he was to ask what Eggdog saw, he noticed from what it looked like a dew on the floor, as if someone, that was so small, went outside, and then came back with some leftover snow, that has now melted into a dew. This made Three and his doggo a bit confused, while also frightened a little.

“That… wasn’t there before… was it?” SMG3 muttered to himself. He knows that the trail itself couldn’t be Eggdog as not only it looks somewhat recent, and too small for his paw size to make those trails, but Eggdog is also right next to him this whole time. So he and Eggdog followed the trail with their eye contact, and although the trail’s track had started to disappear, they still tried to follow it. They then slowly looked up a look a bit on where the trails lead, and stopped as they realized where it leads. It leads back to the Nutcracker. This caused Three and Eggdog made a realization. Did that doll move? And if it did, how?

As SMG3 is about to say something, he instantly hears his phone ringing. He checked his phone and it's a reminder schedule. Seems like it is his time to go to sleep.

“...Welp! Looks like we have to get some rest, c’mon now Eggdog.” He exclaimed calmly. As SMG3 walks back to the counter, Eggdog stops him and barks repeatedly, as if it was telling Three “what about the dew of footprints, the Nutcracker, and the Secret Santa then dad?” To which SMG3 replied.

“We will do it tomorrow little buddy, maybe it could be some kind of pest that went inside, which… I hope it is not those vermin again…” He narrowed his eyes after saying that, as not so very long ago, the rats instantly infested the area, when the cafe was still in the construction stage, causing his opening of his cafe to be delayed a bit. He did learn that it was Bob who hypnotized them away, with Mario being the one who created the tunnel to get through to the construction area. Three also learned that apparently Depresso was their leader to cause those vermin to suddenly appear at SMG4 place, which made a lot more sense since he and SMG4 did see him one time with a dead rat, in the vent during WOTFI. Either way, he only said this because he doubted that the wooden doll could be the one who either got or stolen that paper, as it is bizarre that all of the sudden, it can finally move after fixing it, though then again, it is possible that it COULD be the Nutcracker since the box did came out of nowhere and was just left it there, and, once he fixed the doll, got reminded that he has a secret santa during the christmas eve party tomorrow, almost lose the paper, and started the whole somewhat possibly meaningless search, it was with it this whole time!... Or he is just so tired that he couldn’t even look clearly that it was on the counter, it was just his own vision that couldn't even see it.

Either way, he then goes to the counter, picks up the paper right next to the Nutcracker, and opens the “Employees Only” door for Eggdog.

“You go first my precious boy!” SMG3 said as he smiled at his meme pet. Eggdog was a bit skeptical, but nevertheless, he was getting tired, so he went inside first. SMG3 was about to follow him, but he looked at the Nutcracker again a bit, before he closed the door again, leaving the Nutcracker alone once more. And as that happened, its dotted eyes started to shine.

It is now 10 o’clock, geez that was… something. SMG3 is now in bed, in his own pajamas, a black sleep top, and a purple sweatpants, with a purple sock and the Eggdog slipper. He also has his purple robe, as it is now in the winter season, so he needs at least some cold resistance to it whenever he sleeps. Eggdog has now fallen asleep next to him. Three is just done looking through his phone, and as he is about to go to sleep, he looks at the paper right next to him, his Secret Santa to be more exact. He’s a bit scared. As he is letting his own thoughts run, not only has he somewhat forgotten about it, but he also still doesn’t even know who his Secret Santa is, and how he can give them a gift that isn’t just his cafe merch. His possible secret santa could be either of the SMG4’s friends. It could be either Meggy or Mario if it's like the closest friend group that he hangs out with. Or it could be Tari or Saiko as at least a change of pace. Melony or Bob could also work. He would rather not have Boopkins to be his Secret Santa though. But if it is not one of them, then this only leaves one person… SMG4.

Gosh the universe is probably laughing at Three again. I mean, what if it is SMG4? If it is him, he may as well think of a gift tomorrow fast! Unless… he could just use the Nutcracker as a gift, since he originally thought that it was for Four, but after what happened today, he started to think that it may or may not be a good idea to send it to him as a gift. Either way, it's either one of Four’s friends to give them a gift, or it would be his meme guardian partner himself. SMG3 then looked at the paper again, he stared at least a bit, before his own thoughts ran through him, and made a decision. He has to know who his Secret Santa is.

SMG3 sighed, as he looked at the blank folded paper one more time, he then started to open it, and see who it would be, until…

“No, I-I will just do it tomorrow, it’s better if I just know who it will be if I just know it the next day, than letting myself worry the whole night. It’s… better that way.” He uttered himself silently. He placed his paper inside the robe, and started to lay-down. He now let his eyes go shut-eyed.